MB: You’ve mentioned Dennis and Dave and I know on the Web site there’s a letter from Dave — were these men you could actually get emotional sustenance from?
Yeah. I have to say this, yeah, because I didn’t think about that. One thing about the men that I befriended platonically was almost all these men were homophobic — very badly — Dennis being one of them. And the way I made them feel comfortable was by making fun of myself or, like, maybe a gay thought. But not to where it was gay malice or not where it hurt me; it was where they were laughing with me and not at me. So it became where, through their laughter, they became more comfortable. You know, “Ah, you’re crazy. Ah, I can’t believe you said that,” you know. Just little things. But it was also a way to let them know that just because we’re around each other doesn’t mean I’m going to change who I am. I didn’t do it then on the street; I’m not gonna do it now. Another thing about Dennis is that, you know, we had the same things going on. I would just be able to look at Dennis and just know that he was having a tough day. Or, you know, like I remember this one time that he was on one side of the cell block and I was on the other, and I was feeling real bad, you know, the doubtful days. You’re like, shew. “Is this ever going to come together. I’m never gonna come home.” And I looked across the way, and Dennis was sitting there and I thought, I looked at him and I just knew that he was thinking the same thing. His head was down, and his body language was just all … so I think that in a lot of that, me and Dennis had a lot of unspoken, and spoken, feelings about the same situation, you know. We knew what it was. And um, you know that was pretty tough. My relationship with Dennis was probably one of the strongest ones I had in there because we were going through the same thing. And I can remember feeling guilty about that too, because I had John [Swomley], and I had support, and things seemed to be building momentum — and Dennis was still right in the Innocent Project — still trying to get someone to take his case, still trying to find DNA …
MB: What was he in for? What was the charge?
Um, raping three women. Still trying to find DNA, and still trying to get out. And because I loved Dennis, and I didn’t want to hurt him, I didn’t share in a lot of the excitement of my case. Because I felt like it would be, you know, hard for him. And then when he got all the attention and his thing started moving so quickly, I know there was times when he didn’t want to say things to me, because he felt the same way. So that was tough. You know, uh, a lot of these men that I’ve befriended, it’s because they were decent, you know there was something in them that was different from others. There are some men in there that I think might never change. But there’s a lot of guys in there struggling to get out that have changed, or you just see something different in them — you know, a kindness that other guys don’t have. Or a decency, or the way they might treat the older people. There’s a gentleman at the treatment center called Buck Rogers. His real name is Elber. And everybody’s mean to him. They hate him.
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