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What smell?

By BARRY CRIMMINS  |  July 28, 2006

The greatest fiction of all is the way so many Americans presume that we live in a nation that is basically well-intentioned and therefore can do no wrong. The results of subscription to this fable can be seen throughout the war-torn planet, in a cemetery, VA hospital, or homeless shelter near you. We live in a country that’s in hock to the rest of the world so it can deficit-spend to fuel a war machine designed to dominate the rest of the world. Pretty soon somebody’s gonna get sick of it and say the magic word that brings the whole thing to an ignominious and unavoidable end: PetroEuros.

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BEAMING: Does Bush worship Thor?
It’s July, and I don’t even feel like hearing about the holy hell in which so many innocents are forced to live and die, in large part due to greed, hubris, and a variety of religious superstitions. The “flames of freedom” George Bush frequently speaks of with such reverence are now engulfing Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Israel, and perhaps by the time this has been published, Iran and even Syria. And things ain’t too swell in Sudan either.

I will give our ultra-religious crusader Prez Bush credit for this much: he’s forced many of us to look into our own souls.

I believe that George W. Bush and his allies venerate the same God worshipped by their radical Islamists enemies. I think that God’s name is Thor.

In fact, more and more I am leaning on a spiritual explanation for all this. My best guess is that the universe is actually a giant corporation and the God worshipped by earthlings as divine and omnipotent is just a bungling regional manager, to whom corporate big-wigs barely pay any attention. The Milky Way has always been a disappointment to the front office, and sooner or later it will be quietly and coldly decided that our corner of creation’s only true value is as a source of energy for consumption by the one true conglomerate, the Black Hole.

ConglomoGod will do the same thing to Earth, and all that surrounds it, that has been done to cities and towns all over our world by profiteering corporatists and the military machinery on which they waste such an insane proportion of our resources. One of these millenniums, our planet and galaxy will be called into the ultimate meeting at the home office and never return. And when that happens, all the lies, phony rhetoric, fears, sins, and foibles of petty little men like George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden will evaporate, along with all that’s truly dear and vital on this planet.

Like I said, we all need a break.

Nearly 70 percent of the American people at least sense they’ve been had, so why waste good weather on a futile attempt to enlighten the intractable minority? Particularly when that fraction is populated mainly by a human lint ball of frothing, paranoid, bigoted, ignorant, mentally ill, and brain-damaged die-hards who still believe that supporting the dundering dictatorship in Washington is an act of patriotism.

Each one of us is a soul that deserves the pleasure of a cool breeze on a summer day as we frolic and rest with those dear to us during the fleeting hours we are allowed to relax, celebrate, and enjoy the time we have this side of the mystery of eternity.

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Related: Stop whining and do your job, Comedy Rambo, On the national affront, More more >
  Topics: News Features , U.S. Government, Elections and Voting, Tony Snow,  More more >
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Comments
What smell?
While I usually give Crimmins the benefit of the doubt when he seems to play loose with the facts, as I recognize that is the currency of political commentators from both the left and the right, when he starts taking up the line of Hezballoh terrorists, it's time to call him on it. Crimmins claims that the Israeli soldiers were attacked and "kidnapped" (his quotes) in a war zone. I hate to break it to you Barry, but the only people that consider Northern Israel a war zone are the Hezballoh terrorists, and now, presumably you. Hezballoh, and assorted other Islamic terrorists don't believe Israel has the right to exist, for Crimmins to describe an attack on their undisputed territory as taking place in a war zone brings into question his credibility on every issue he takes on, and is a disservice to those who would criticize the many despicable actions of the Bush administration while sticking to the facts, which are damning by themselves, without totally upending them.
By brooklinereader on 08/06/2006 at 12:47:54

ARTICLES BY BARRY CRIMMINS
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   ON THE NATIONAL AFFRONT  |  December 19, 2007
    Where does one begin to recap 12 months of such willful self-parody?
  •   THE DEVIL AND DICK CHENEY  |  July 03, 2007
    Dick: e ver since you shoved your fall guy, Scooter, off the political cliff, I simply cannot get in touch with you.
  •   WHAT SMELL?  |  July 28, 2006
    It’s always summer to George W. Bush, our lazy, hazy, crazy commander in chief who puts in shorter presidential work weeks than Woodrow Wilson did after he was paralyzed by a stroke.
  •   SCHMUCKS UNLIMITED  |  April 05, 2006
    It’s April, supposedly the cruelest month, but after a winter that seemed like 150 days of March, how bad can it be?

 See all articles by: BARRY CRIMMINS

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