With glasses of that wonderful wine, Pinot Chet, we toast fellow war enthusiast Henry Kissinger, an unofficial Dubya advisor.
That bitch crazy
While P&J certainly won’t refer to women as bitches or whores (this puts a severe crimp in marketing our rap discs), hats off to a real wild be-yotch, outgoing US Representative Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. On December 7, she announced she was offering up a bill to impeach President Boy George.
McKinney has always been a wild woman in the House, proposing legislation, for example, to establish a permanent collection of late rapper Tupac Shakur’s recordings at the National Archives, and calling for a federal investigation into his murder. Your superior correspondents see Robert Johnson as a more worthy figure for such attention, but maybe we should just be happy that McKinney didn’t suggest Michael Jackson.
Way to go, Cynthia. Check you out at Shoney’s the next time we’re down in Georgia. Dubya, you want vanilla ice cream with that humble pie?
Light my fire
Holy Homeland Security, Batman!
OK, we know most of you have heard this by now, but when a Dallas-bound American Airlines’ flight is forced to make an emergency landing, because a woman lit a match to cover the smell of a fart, maybe, just maybe, we have gone too far.
As Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority, told the Associated Press, “All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.”
All P&J can say is, at least she didn’t light it while she was in the act of flatulating. Now that would be a red alert.
Down with bubble boy
Does anyone buy into the dog and pony show being put on by President George W. Bush, concerning his purported collection of a variety of viewpoints on the course of the war in Iraq? If so, go directly to LA and check in with Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton.
Everybody knows how Georgie Boy’s final decision will be a mild variation on every misstep and bad move that he has already made. Any helpful suggestions in the Iraq Study Group report — such as commencing some sort of dialogue with Syria and Iran — will be ignored. Bush will continue his worthless attempt to prop up the unprop-upable (attention Bill Safire: here’s a new and thoroughly awkward word), and more Americans serving there will die in the crossfire.
This dumb-ass adventure has been all but lost, but Bush is completely unable to acknowledge his screw-ups. Like Vietnam, a war from which Bush learned nothing, this will end badly. And like Vietnam, the pain and suffering will be stretched out because of the vanity of an arrogant American president. Of course, Nixon (and Johnson before him) were marginally wiser than the current palooka. LBJ’s vanity led him to bow out of politics, and Nixon belatedly saw the handwriting on the wall.
So what’ll it be? Cut and run, or cut and bleed, and bleed some more? We think we know the answer. While our thoughts and prayers are with our troops, Bush is all but certain to push on in the same direction. Lingering in P&J’s brains is the infamous quote from a New York Times Magazine article of a few years back, when an unnamed senior Bush official asserted that reality is whatever the administration says it is. Have mercy on our souls.
