Haiku gratitude
So appreciative!
“8 Days in Haiku” reveals
creative genius
Anna Seikonia
Portland
Wanting kids: on the fence
I just wanted to say that I have concerns about the whole child thing as well (see “Like Blood for Chocolate," by Caitlin Shetterly, February 4). The sounds of kids screaming on planes and in the market make me just roll my eyes and wonder, “Why don’t they keep them home?”
But then, some days I do feel like I want kids. I am 29 years old: when am I going to be 100 percent sure and ready? Is it normal for a woman my age to still have “concerns” and not be certain of the baby factor?
Then, once I do, if I do decide I want kids, I am terrified of weight gain and stretch marks. I work hard to keep myself at an average weight, not indulging in all the foods I want to and going to the gym doing cardio, which is not my thing! I mean, I am not 22 years old anymore. My body won’t just bounce back like it would if I was younger.
All this makes me wonder if I should even have kids? I have never been a kid person. I don’t ogle over them and desire to be around them. I worked in a daycare when I was younger and needless to say that job lasted less than a week! I enjoyed my root canal more than I did that!
Everyone says that when it’s your own kid, it’s different. That’s what I have been told many, many times. I have to wonder if that is true or not.
How will I know that’s true until it’s too late? I mean it’s got to be awesome to see a product of you and your man meshed together as one little person.
I thought also the answer to my dilemma is adoption of a kid 5 years old or up. But doesn’t that just open up another can of worms?
My worst nightmare is to be tied down with children, not having money to travel and do things, barely making it from paycheck to paycheck. I know it sounds selfish, but I am just being honest with myself. I have no answers after all these years.
Maybe I am scared; maybe I am just not maternal. I do love the idea of being old and seeing your kids married with kids, etc. I don’t want to be a lonely old woman with little to no family.
Maybe a therapist is in my near future. But I have to wonder, why is it so easy for everyone else to know that they want children and such a puzzle for me? I felt so alienated from the general population of women until I read your article. I read it every week and enjoy your writing. It just happened that this week it struck me on a personal level. I know there are other women out there struggling with this, but they are hard to find! Thanks for your words! I don’t feel like such a weirdo! Keep up the good work!
Maureen Bondole
Saco
