Illinois senator Barack Obama started slowly in his candidacy, at first attempting to liken himself to Abe Lincoln. Mercifully, the stovepipe hat and whiskers didn’t do well with focus groups, so he switched to another appeal: he was the person capable of stopping prohibitive front-runner Hillary Clinton from strolling to the Democratic nomination. He raised a lot of dough from the net-roots and began to be taken seriously. But he got plenty of cash from fat cats as well, including, as of March, according to CounterPunch, “$159,800 from executives and employees of Exelon, the nation’s largest nuclear-power-plant operator.”
Obama demonstrated his corporate indebtedness by citing “clean coal” and “superior nuclear technology” as environmental solutions. “Clean coal” is a term that proves you can put any two words together you want. Hey kids, wash up with the clean coal! And “superior nuclear technology” will lead to what? Better-organized cancer clusters?
But the fact that Obama could stop Clinton does amplify his appeal. The idea that the New York senator was the most electable Dem drove many to resign themselves to supporting her. These folks didn’t ask, why is someone who is reviled by half the country a “sure thing” in what is likely to be a two-candidate general election?
Outside of the fact that she will bring all the rabid anti-Clinton crackpots out of hiding, she’ll also drive a measurable portion of progressives into political hibernation. Clinton is feminist in name only — concerning the war she’s voted almost the straight fatherland ticket. She exudes all the sincerity of Nigerian spam. She tells us she wants to have a “conversation with the American people,” but when she’s around, she’s the only one who ever speaks. It’s too bad they can’t create a computerized debate between Clinton and the late Hubert Humphrey to see who could talk longer while saying less.
Who loves New York?
Clinton’s a bargain compared with fellow New Yorker Rudolph Giuliani, a natural-born fascist who is drooling over the chance to take over an Oval Office replete with über powers vested in it by our current unitary executive. Giuliani has a lot in common with Bush. Between the two of them there isn’t a single qualm about politically exploiting the innocents massacred on their watch on September 11, 2001. Giuliani claimed he spent more time at Ground Zero than anyone else. The truth is, he spent more time feeding off it than anyone else.
Giuliani was the Republican front-runner until stories about his sleazy business dealings, misuse of New York City resources, and the federal indictment of Bernard Kerik — his former police commissioner and the man he touted to run the Department of Homeland Security — brought him back to the unelectable pack.
Mitt Romney wrote enough checks dated 2007 to keep the economies of both Iowa and New Hampshire afloat. While pursuing the Oval Office, Romney won’t be answering any of those MTV questions about boxers or briefs, because he wears a special one-piece Jesus: the Sequel affair. In early December, he made a stirring plea for all religions to unite in hatred for atheists and agnostics. Don’t get me wrong, a man’s cult is a matter that should be between him and the people deciding whether or not he should run their country.
