See all in Phillipe And Jorge

See all in Phillipe And Jorge

Phillipe And Jorge

Dubya’s final countdown

So the countdown begins on the last year in office of the cross-eyed, flash card-taught, flight suit-wearing little cowboy. Phillipe + Jorge’s hopes, as well as those of anyone of sound mind and body, are that we can usher this delusional, prevaricating warmonger and torture enthusiast onto Air Force One and back to the scrublands of Texas before he pulls a Slim Pickens on a nuke headed for Iran.
 
We would love to see the phony and pandering empty suit that is Mitt Romney, or the wild-eyed creationist, Mike Huckabee, who imagines — quite bizarrely — untold numbers of illegal Pakistani immigrants spilling over our borders, win the GOP nod.  Even Dennis Kucinich, with the right handling and mucho exposure for his hotter than sunburn wife, could beat these bozos. (Don’t even get us started with Rudy “The Skull” Giuliani, who has had a surfeit of dubious dealings.)
 
As you may know, P+J have thrown our not inconsiderable weight behind Barack Obama. Not just clean, bright, and articulate, he really represents a change from the frightening prospect of an ongoing Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton daisy chain whose lube is amply supplied by K Street lobbyists.
 
Meanwhile, your superior correspondents dedicate this column to the incomparable Molly Ivins, who gave more pricks to the little prick in the White House than a pin cushion. We mourn the passing of close personal friends, the Fabulous Moolah and Merv Griffin, among far too many others.
 
We wonder how the news media and Congressional Democrats continue to get rolled by Dubya and his twisted tribe of manipulators and sycophants, such as “Big Time” Cheney and “Queen Lotsateetha” Rice. Of course, the surge is working, so the torturers must have been right. Just ignore how 2007 was the deadliest year for US troops in Iraq since the 2003 invasion, with 899 of our finest men and women killed for a pack of lies and for Dubya’s Big Oil and Big Biz cronies. We send our kudos to Blackwater and Halliburton, America’s new face to the world, along with the CIA interrogators. Waterboard this!
 
Thanks, though, for wonderful events on the film scene, with the debut of David Bettencourt’s You Must Be This Tall, Cherry Arnold’s Buddy going to DVD, and the Ocean State providing backdrops for Dan In Real Life and even Underdog.
 
Wrapping up the year with the special events of the I-Wait and the “Eet’s not my yob!” snowstorm, we look forward to seeing how our august four-legged denizens of Halitosis Hall deal with a $150 million deficit for this fiscal year, and a $450 million one for next year, not to mention the ongoing Operation Dollar Bill.
 
Hey, buck up! We’ll all make it nonetheless, and revel in Little Rhody’s absurdity once again. Happy New Year

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