Overzealous merchandisers who banked on the Patriots juggernaut winning Super Bowl XLII were stuck with celebratory paraphernalia they could no longer sell — torturous reminders of a veritable jackpot gone awry. Book publishers, poised to release such titles as the Boston Globe’s 19-0 and Sports Publishing’s 2008 Super Bowl Champions (still listed on amazon.com, but as “currently unavailable”) had no choice but to eat volumes of inopportune inventory.
All this premature ejaculation makes one wonder what other tomes may have suffered similar fates?
THE BIG DIG: ENGINEERING JEWEL
THE PITCH A behind-the-scenes look at one of the country’s largest ever public-works projects. Budgetary matters aside, this mega-undertaking has been touted as an engineering gem.
FATE Recalled July 2006, when a section of the leaky tunnel’s roof collapsed, killing one. Turns out the precious gem was more like cubic zirconium.
LONE RANGERS: REPUBLICANS FOR ABORTION, GAY MARRIAGE, AND STEM-CELL RESEARCH
THE PITCH They are the few, the proud: the socially liberal GOP governors.
FATE Pulled from shelves February 13, 2007, when Mitt Romney, the subject of one of the chapters, decided to run for president, conveniently changing his positions on all of the aforementioned issues. Perhaps he’s not so proud after all.
RED SOX NATION AND THE 87-YEAR CURSE
THE PITCH A look back at the Old Towne Team’s 87-year title drought.
FATE Set to drop October 27, 2004, this project was scotched when the Sox gave all its naysayers a metaphorical crotch grab by pounding the Cardinals for the title, after staging an improbable comeback over the Yankees, thus ending the so-called Curse of the Bambino. Yes, yes Nanette.
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE: SEVEN YEARS OF CARTOON HILARITY
THE PITCH An “illustrated novel” featuring the wild adventures of the cartoon’s three anthropomorphic fast-food characters.
FATE This one was history by February 1, 2007, after the entire city of Boston entered DEFCON 1 over a bomb scare triggered by battery-powered promotional placards for the popular animated show. Who knew a milkshake could be that scary?
HO HO HO: SANTA CLAUS, DON IMUS, AND OTHER FAMOUS PHILANTHROPISTS
THE PITCH An anthology of biographies of notable public benefactors, with partial proceeds dedicated to inner-city youth basketball teams.
FATE The book was yanked faster than you can say First Amendment when the I-man uttered a scandalous on-air comment regarding members of the Rutgers women’s basketball team. Following the incident, lumps of coal were seen piling up outside Al Sharpton’s home.
DEVAL PATRICK: THE CADILLAC OF GUBERNATORIAL FRUGALITY
THE PITCH A biography on the first African-American governor of Massachusetts.
FATE News broke of the governor’s tax-dollar-funded Cadillac, fancy office drapes, and $72,000 aide for his wife. Together we can . . . spend unnecessarily.
RON BORGES: SPORTSWRITER EXTRAORDINAIRE
THE PITCH A look back at the work of the five-time Massachusetts Sportswriter of the Year.
FATE Sent to the dustbin of publishing history on March 5, 2007, when the controversial Borges was suspended from the Globe for two months for plagiarism, giving a whole new meaning to the term “poor sportsmanship.”
TED KENNEDY: CAPED CRUSADER
THE PITCH A biography of the “little guy’s” superhero and eco-liberal.
FATE Kennedy came out against the Cape Wind alternative-energy project, claiming his opposition had nothing to do with his magnificent beachfront view. Err-ahh, err-ahh, political hypocrisy at its worst.