And the award goes to...

By AL DIAMON  |  June 11, 2008

The Betterly Writing Through Addedly Adverbs Award is gingerly handed to the League of Conservation Voters for its May 28 press release in which it stated that Democratic 1st District congressional candidate Ethan Strimling had “inadvertently and unintentionally erroneously indicated” the league had endorsed him. That’s just wrongly.

The-League-Of-Conservation-Voters-Helped-Us-Explain-Our-Slogan Award goes to the Maine Democratic Party, which has a new tagline — “Change starts with me in Maine!” — which a spokesperson interpreted thusly: “Without the ‘me’ in each of us, change is not possible.” I have no idea what that means, but I wanted to ask, are you guys really Nazis like Hayes Gahagan says?

The Do-You-Want-To-Rephrase-That-Statement-Before-You-Address-All-The-Angry-People-Who-Can’t-Pay-Their-Heating-Bills Award to Democratic state Senate candidate Justin Alfond of Portland, who answered a questionnaire from the League of Young Voters about energy costs and transportation by saying, “I truly am glad that gas and oil are at plus $3 and $4 because it will finally make our state and country come [to] the realization that we need to invest in mass transit.” And those prices won’t put a dent in his trust fund, either.

The It-Turns-Out-I-Was-Right-Not-To-Take-You-Seriously Award is presented to Laurie Dobson, the would-be independent US Senate candidate who — after six months of wacky ranting — failed to turn in enough signatures to qualify for the fall ballot. Her campaign is now in subliminal mode.

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