As goes Gloucester?

I read with interest the June 23rd to July 3rd Boston Phoenix Editorial, "As goes Gloucester?

 

To me the two most important lines in the Phoenix editorial are: "Was there even a dad?", and, "Rather than stick her head in the sand, Mayor Kirk could have issue a wake up call.  Someone should."

 

The total "wake up call" is the promotion of father-less-ness in our great land and the effects it is having on society and the never ending cycle of young girls having babies and raising them without dads, as probably the children of Gloucester will be.  No other country has as many single mothers and children raised without dads as does our country.  Some 28% or close to  20 million children are raised without fathers.  Studies have demonstrated that children raised without a father are far more likely to have early sexual encounters and to get pregnant at earlier ages.  This is just one of the symptoms of being raised without dads.  There are many more.

 

So what is the answer.  Part of the answers is to bring back fathers into kids lives and create incentives to do so.  Currently the incentives are just the opposite.  Title IV d of the Social Security Act actually has perverse incentives for single motherhood and for the elimination of fathers from children's lives.  Only 6 states have adopted equal Shared Parenting laws, so that post separation and divorce, parents, mainly fathers, if fit, could have an equal right to raise their children.  The legislature in Massachusetts, specifically the Judiciary Committee once again buried the bill into study, the nice name for killing a bill.  This is despite the fact that in a non binding ballot question in 2004 over 86% of those communities who could vote on the issue did vote for equal shared parenting.  Finally, Family and Probate Courts have to be more respectful of the role of fathers and do more to encourage and rule so that fathers can stay involved in kids lives. The public has no idea what father have to do just to try and stay involved in their kids lives in our state.  While restraining orders seem like a good idea, they have been abused and misused to gain custody of children, to the detriment of these kids and society.  In Massachusetts some 30,000 to 50,000 restraining orders are taken out every year.  Yes, tragically less than 100 men and women are killed each year in domestic disputes. Restraining orders have not done one thing to stop these horrific acts, and probably never will.   However, for a mother to throw a father out of their children's lives is to just claim, "fear", than, check off a box on a piece of paper and whoosh, no more dad.  This lack of true Due Process is wrong. It is, and has not been in the best interest of our children, nor is it in societies interest.

 

We need to follow the example of Erie County New York.  Have incentive tax credits to help non custodial parents, usually fathers, and also reunification programs for fathers.  We need to change the Title IV d incentives so that they have incentives for fathers to stay involved and around. We need to adopt equal Shared Parenting laws for fit parents.  We need to reform the Family and Probate courts in our state and around the country to make it easier for dads to stay involved, and remove the barriers to fatherhood.  If we start to do this, I can guarantee you, the rates of teen pregnancy will drop.  We will no longer have to ask the question, "Was there even a dad?"  We do know there is always a dad, we just have to help them to stay around, for their kids sake.

 

Dr. Peter G. Hill

304 Columbus Avenue

Boston, MA 02116

cell 617-763-3370