One might say, “Poor kid, doesn’t have enough money for cold medicine,” except that, in March, Taylor was busted for a February 4 incident in which police say he discharged a fire extinguisher, damaged a light cover, pulled down an exit sign, and sprayed liquid detergent on the wall of his dormitory. According to Iowa newspapers, the incident “caused over $200 in damages” and earned Taylor a fourth-degree criminal mischief charge that’s still pending. Taylor was suspended indefinitely from the ISU hoops squad following his first arrest; Cyclones coach Greg McDermott said his future with the team has “not been determined.”
Taylor’s latest arrest comes on the heels of another weirdly pointless crime involving ISU athletes. On April 23, receiver Derron Montgomery, defensive back Devin McDowell, and offensive lineman Jose Vargas were suspended from the Cyclone football team after they burgled a purse that had been left unattended on a public bus. The players were caught by public surveillance cameras dumping the purse in a trash bin. All three were arrested for fifth-degree theft, the same charge Taylor got for boosting cold medicine, and all three were suspended from the team.
When he’s not scouring Craigslist for lightweight threesomes, Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached at M_Taibbi@yahoo.com.
LEADER BOARD
LAVON CHISLEY (PENN STATE) | murder | 99
STEVE SWINDAL (YANKEES) | DUI | 98
RON ARTEST (KINGS) | starving Socks, domestic violence, intimidation | 95
PACMAN JONES (TITANS) | TBA | 90
CURLY-HAIRED BOYFRIEND (GLOBE) | Being a dick and, worse, a bore who can’t write | 90
TOM PARROS (RETIRED, RAIDERS) | creepy teen sex assault | 80
JULIO MATEO (MARINERS) | punching, biting wife | 80
RICHARD SEIGLER (STEELERS) | pimping | 79
MURIETTA JOCKS (MURIETTA FIGHT CLUB) | various | 75
TONE TAUPULE (U OF IDAHO) | pistol-whipping, armed robbery | 62
SIX FOOTBALL PLAYERS (GUILFORD) | assault | 50 (downgraded)
KATSUHIKO MAEKAWA (ORIX BUFFALOES) | DUI, hit/run | 47
RONNIE FIELDS (MINOT SKYROCKETS) | sex assault | 40
JERRAMY STEVENS (SEAHAWKS) | DUI, weed, throwing used condoms | 32
LIONEL SULLIVAN (BGSU) | stealing video games, being a dumbass | 31
DEX REID (COLTS) | weed, gun, being a Colt, sucking while a Patriot | 30
MARVIN JONES (U OF IDAHO) | dealing coke to undercover cops, getting caught for same | 30
MIKE TYSON (N/A) | coke, DUI | 28
RASHAUN BROADUS (BYU HOOPS) | DUI, having Snoop Dogg’s last name | 26
GUSTAVO CHACIN (BLUE JAYS) | DUI, having cologne named after him | 26
TONY LA RUSSA (CARDINALS) | DUI | 25
RYAN KRAUSE (CHARGERS) | DUI | 25
DONTRELLE WILLIS (MARLINS) | DUI, peeing | 23
BATMAN CARROLL (JAGUARS) | gun, ecstasy, sucking | 22
CHARLES SHARON (JAGUARS) | stolen gun | 22
DARRELL REID (COLTS) | weed-in-car, being a Colt | 20
RANDY FOYE (T-WOLVES) | fighting | 20
MINNY P.D. (N/A) | Tasering | 20
KRIS LUCHSINGER (OHIO U) | bar fight | 18
GERALD SENSABAUGH (JAGUARS) | gun, speeding | 17
TINSLEY, DANIELS, MCLEOD (PACERS) | fighting | 15
TARELL BROWN (TEXAS) | pre-draft weed bust | 11
STEVE GARCIA (SOUTH CAROLINA) | keying a professor’s car, not getting away with it | 9
MOBILE P.D. (N/A) | being dicks | 5
HOWARD STIRGUS (DENTON) | bomb threats | 3
MIKE TAYLOR (IOWA STATE) | stealing $11.06| 1.5
KYLE MCALARNEY (NOTRE DAME) | weed | 1
TERRANCE DESHAWN HOOKS | weed | 1
ELIJAH DUKES (DEVIL RAYS) | weed, being black and not giving a fuck | 0.5
