Pace yourself
Poor Larry Bird. Every time he wakes up in the morning, he must turn on his Bearcat to see which of his players ended up in bracelets the night before.
The Pacers have had innumerable scandals in recent years, including charges involving Stephen Jackson firing his gun five times into the air (after a parking lot fracas outside a strip club), a weed bust involving Shawne Williams, bar-brawl arrests of Jamaal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels (in which Tinsley allegedly threatened to kill a club manager after braining him on the side of the head) . . . the list goes on and on.
Now there is perhaps the worst of them all — Williams was held out of a game this past week after police arrested Gary Bohanon, a/k/a Roosevelt Rollins, when he exited Williams’s house. Bohanon, who had been with Williams when the latter was busted for his weed rap this past September, was wanted by the US Marshals as a fugitive from a first-degree murder-arrest warrant, issued after one Ronald Moore was gunned down on October 17, 2007, in Tennessee. Information reached authorities that Bohanon might be at Williams’s house, so they kept the hoopster under surveillance and finally caught their man.
Yikes, harboring a murder fugitive. The exasperated Bird commented: “We’ve got to be very clear about this — we don’t want our players hanging around with murderers.”
There are no charges against Williams as of yet, but stay tuned. In the meantime, give him 50 points, and give our old friend from French Lick your sympathies.
When he’s not googling “Cajundome caper” and “ralphing Redbird,” Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atM_Taibbi@yahoo.com.
2008 LEADER BOARD
JIM LEYRITZ (EX-YANKEES) | DUI manslaughter | 90
JEROME MATHIS (TEXANS) | choking pregnant baby-momma | 75
FABIAN WASHINGTON (RAIDERS) | red marks on girlfriend’s neck | 70
JEREMY ELDER (ALABAMA) | late-night stickup | 55
ADAM “PACMAN” JONES (TITANS) | being a menace to peaceful strip-club patrons everywhere | 50
SHAWNE WILLIAMS (PACERS) | harboring an accused first-degree murderer | 50
JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive | 48
DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystanders, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46
BRANDON PETTIGREW (OKLAHOMA STATE) | elbowing Stillwater’s finest | 42
SCOTT SPIEZIO (CARDINALS) | flipping a car in the OC, staggering away from the scene, going mental at some random citizen | 31
CHANNING CROWDER (DOLPHINS) | leaving the scene, making good early impression on Bill Parcells | 30
DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) | ambiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost | 30
JASON HORTON (MISSOURI) | beating up “kitchen help” | 30
TYRONE NESBY (EX-CLIPPERS) | ginormous child-support debt | 30
RICHARD TODD BURGER (EX-JETS) | leg-breaking for Internet gambling site | 28
BRITTON COLQUITT (TENNESSEE) | DUI, hitting a car, hitting tree stump, then walking away from the scene | 28
RYAN O’BYRNE (CANADIENS) | stealing a chick’s purse | 27
XAVIER HICKS (WASHINGTON STATE) | putting rubbing alcohol in roommate’s contact-lens case| 22
DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona; refusing to appear | 21
RANDY NEWSOM (AKRON AEROS) | sold shares in his future earnings in dicey scheme that Ponzi would have admired | 18
GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/Up in Smoke impersonation, while in car | 12
SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) | spraying fire extinguisher, acting like the little douchebag he is | 11
DERRICK JONES (OREGON) | operating a less-than-one-ounce “drug house” | 1
KEVIN FAULK (PATRIOTS) | contributing to the cancer-like misery of Patriots fans | 0.5
