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Highway to hell

By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 23, 2008

2008 Leader Board
JIM LEYRITZ (EX-YANKEES)
| DUI manslaughter | 90
BRANDAN WRIGHT (BETHUNE-COOKMAN) | running dude over with an Isuzu for owing him $200 | 89
JEROME MATHIS (TEXANS) | choking pregnant babymama | 75
FABIAN WASHINGTON (RAIDERS) | red marks on girlfriend's neck | 70
JAMES HARRISON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend to facilitate a baptism | 60
ANDY CHRISTENSEN (NEBRASKA) | wantonly grabbing unguarded vagina in bar | 55
JEREMY ELDER (ALABAMA) | late-night stickup | 55
CEDRIC WILSON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend, but not in order to facilitate a baptism | 55
CARL ELLER (EX-VIKINGS) | DUI, tossing cops around like birdseed | 50
ADAM "PACMAN" JONES (TITANS) | being a menace to peaceful strip-club patrons everywhere | 50
MAURICE SIMMONS (USC) | being the wheelman for a Compton armed mugging | 50
SHAWNE WILLIAMS (PACERS) | harboring an accused first-degree murderer | 50
JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive | 48
DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystanders, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46
KEITH MCCANTS (EX-ALABAMA) | getting Tasered after hurling pliers and crack pipe at cops | 43
BRANDON PETTIGREW (OKLAHOMA STATE) | elbowing Stillwater's finest | 42
RIAR GEER (COLORADO) | randomly assaulting two students, being an asshole | 40
JOSH JARBOE (OKLAHOMA) | bringing totally unnecessary .380 handgun to track meet | 40
LYNN KATOA (COLORADO) | campus assault | 40
KEITH MCLEOD (EX-PACERS) | being the latest Pacer alum to discharge a firearm in public | 40
JORGE REYES AND JOHN WALLACE (OREGON) | being dumbasses and shooting .22 rounds into a neighbor's house | 37
CHRIS HENRY (EX-BENGALS) | getting arrested way too many times | 35
STEFON JACKSON (UTEP) | hindering prosecution; attracting fugitives | 31
SCOTT SPIEZIO (CARDINALS) | flipping a car in the OC, staggering away from the scene, going mental at some random citizen | 31
CHANNING CROWDER (DOLPHINS) | leaving the scene, making good early impression on Bill Parcells | 30
DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) | ambiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost | 30
JASON HORTON (MISSOURI) | beating up "kitchen help" | 30
TYRONE NESBY (EX-CLIPPERS) | ginormous child-support debt | 30
DAN ROONEY (STEELERS) | hypocritical defense of girlfriend-punching players, but only the good ones | 30
RICHARD TODD BURGER (EX-JETS) | leg-breaking for Internet gambling site | 28
BRITTON COLQUITT (TENNESSEE) | DUI, hitting a car, hitting tree stump, then walking away from the scene | 28
RYAN O'BYRNE (CANADIENS) | stealing a chick's purse | 27
JASMINE PAYNE AND ASHLIE BILLINGSLEA (SOUTH CAROLINA) | weed, theft, more theft | 24
XAVIER HICKS (WASHINGTON STATE) | putting rubbing alcohol in roommate's contact-lens case| 22
DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona; refusing to appear | 21
RANDY NEWSOM (AKRON AEROS) | sold shares in his future earnings in dicey scheme that Ponzi would have admired | 18
GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/Up in Smoke impersonation, while in car | 12
SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) | spraying fire extinguisher, acting like the little douchebag he is | 11
MIKHAIL MARINOVICH (SYRACUSE) | breaking into a school equipment room; adding another arrest to the family ledger | 10
DERRICK JONES (OREGON) | operating a less-than-one-ounce "drug house" | 1
KEVIN FAULK (PATRIOTS) | contributing to the cancer-like misery of Patriots fans | 0.5
BRYAN GRIER (MAINE) | weighing 344 pounds and power-carjacking in New Hampshire | INCOMPLETE (pending psych review)

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Related: Game on, Underground art, A winning combination, More more >
  Topics: Sports , Sports, Major League Baseball, Ashlie Billingslea,  More more >
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ARTICLES BY MATT TAIBBI
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   LIGHTS OUT  |  November 25, 2009
    Not sure this has a whole lot to do with sports crime, but . . . it does involve Tila Tequila naked, so that's a start for an interesting exploration of something .
  •   CAMERA SHY  |  November 18, 2009
    Haven't we heard this story before?
  •   GOLDEN GOOFBALLS  |  November 11, 2009
    Yet another major-program football player walked the Taser plank this past week, though this one was called back from the edge just in time.
  •   JASON RETURNS  |  November 04, 2009
    As next week will feature a Friday the 13th, it’s time to check in on the NBA’s very own Jason, Tim Donaghy.
  •   PUNCH DRUNK  |  October 28, 2009
    Charges have finally come in on Aqib Talib, the frequently high (if you believe his pre-draft drug tests) and drafted-up-high (20th overall in 2008) Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback who reportedly decked a cabbie because . . . well, it’s still not exactly clear why.

 See all articles by: MATT TAIBBI

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