More wideout shenanigans
We’ve known for months that Henry is probably cooked as an NFL player, but Brandon Marshall, as recently as a few weeks ago, appeared headed for stardom. Like Henry, the bruising Broncos wideout has a history of knucklehead behavior, including two other arrests over the past year — a DUI for which he’ll go to trial in September and a false imprisonment charge involving his now-ex-girlfriend, Rasheedah Watley, that was later dropped. But unlike Henry, he had a monster season in 2007 and seemed to have his football career on the right path. Then he had a mysterious injury, winning the all-time full-of-shit award when he sliced through practically every tendon in his arm in what he claimed was a freak accident involving his TV. We never found out what really happened, but it seemed like a harmless-enough thing — horseplay, maybe, or some roughhousing hobby prohibited by his contract.
Now we find out that Marshall was arrested on March 6, allegedly for hitting Watley. He faces a misdemeanor battery charge.
No details yet, but he may be suspended by the league. In the meantime, 70 points for the assault — this is his second offense in the realm of violence against women.
Related:
Fallen eagle, Easy policework, Hands of stone, More 
- Fallen eagle
BC isn’t traditionally a high-arrest environment, though it has had its share of head cases, with former star running back William Green perhaps its most noteworthy.
- Easy policework
I’ve always wondered exactly how these gigantic defensive linemen think they’re going to beat the whole “physical description” aspect of post-felony police work.
- Hands of stone
Graham and Sauerbrun join a surprisingly long list of former Patriots who have been arrested in recent times.
- Skell of the year
Much less funny than usual, was 2007.
- Not-so-instant karma
No matter what happens over their next two games, the Patriots will not have gone undefeated in 2007.
- Do mess with Texas
The Houston Texans are like the soy cheese of the sporting world.
- Playing with your food
In 1977, two food-loving childhood friends named Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield signed up for a $5 Penn State correspondence course in ice-cream making, just for the hell of it.
- Off the field
The New England Patriots may be the most tight-lipped organization in all of sports.
- Pats' parity
And, just like that, it’s fall. The days shorten. Crockpots come out of retirement. And the Patriots play the Jets on Sunday.
- Squish the fish
Hey New England, can I get a “Sucks to be you, you got a DWI, you LOSER!”
- Groundhog Day
It’s actually getting boring.
- Less
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Sports
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