Folks in my line of work — cataloguing weekly the crimes of professional athletes — have a built-in rainy-day strategy. When it’s a slow news week, ring up Lexis/Nexis and enter any combination of the following search terms, and you’re almost guaranteed to find yourself some copy: “Florida State Seminoles,” “Sebastian Janikowski AND Beer,” “Dallas Cowboys AND Handgun,” “Lawrence Phillips AND Fist AND Girlfriend AND Sobbing,” etc. Or, if you’re pressed for time, just enter the two magic words of sports crime: “Isaiah Rider.”
The NBA’s all-time arrest leader — according to the best available evidence, Rider was arrested 21 times while an active NBA player — is the best bet for who is going to end up on the wrong side of an arraignment on your average Monday morning in America. Now 35, Rider last played in the NBA in 2002; he was once considered a can’t-miss star, a dynamic high-flying two-guard who was a slam-dunk champion and who averaged 20 points a game in his second season in the league. But his career took a turn for the worse when he joined the Portland Trailblazers, with whom he became a cornerstone of the Jailblazer legend by being busted repeatedly with monstrous amounts of high-grade weed. He also scooped fist-wielding NBA legends Vernon (Mad Max) Maxwell and Ron Artest by diving into the stands after a fan. Subsequently traded to the Atlanta Hawks, Rider became notorious for tardiness, frequently missing practices, charity events, and other obligations. The adoring public generally ascribed blame to a fattie, a couch, and a bag of Cheetos. Among other things, Rider missed his introductory press conference with the Hawks and was eventually waived after missing a team shoot-around. He remains the only professional athlete to be charged with illegal possession of a cellular phone.
Last week, Rider was due in court in Marin County for consolidation of his pending kidnapping, false-imprisonment, and domestic-violence charges — J.R. had a fight with a girlfriend recently. Always in character, Rider failed to show up for two hours, causing Judge Verna Adams to issue a warrant for his arrest and set bail at $2 million. When Rider finally arrived, the judge, in a good mood apparently, vacated her order. But the episode provided still more evidence that J.R. will someday be late to his own funeral.
“He is not a bad guy,” said San Francisco attorney Garrick Lew, who represents Rider. “He just has problems keeping appointments.”
Those meddling kids
S peaking of Vernon Maxwell, two other high-profile athletes were dragged into court last week for nonpayment of child support. Although Mad Max, with his famous six-figure tab, remains the keynote offender in the realm of deadbeat-daddy jocks, the list of delinquent fathers has grown exponentially in recent years. For reasons that so far defy explanation, it seems to be mainly an NFL crime, with players such as Andre (Bad Moon) Rison, Ricky Williams, and Lion legend Billy Sims garnering most of the child-support headlines.
