On the one hand, Shirley was a good value: a space-clogging Vince Wilfork type at a four-round discount. On the other hand, if the Bengals were intent on ending their reign as the arrest kings of the NFL, Shirley was exactly the guy they had to leave off their board. Not making it through your pre-draft collegiate season due to multiple suspensions and dismissals is a massive red flag. But the Bengals blew off their concerns, picked him, and then infuriated the karma gods by re-signing Chris Henry later in the summer.
Now Shirley is back in the news again for blowing off his court appearance on the DUI charge, forcing the Fresno judge to issue a bench warrant. It seems that Shirley and his lawyer have been trying to run out the clock, delaying the second trial (the first trial, on DUI and hit-and-run charges, resulted in a hung jury over the summer) by arguing that Shirley’s lawyer had not yet received a court transcript of the first trial. “I am unprepared to go to trial,” the lawyer told the judge.
Fifteen points for the failure-to-appear, another five for sartorial court cluelessness.
When he's not googling "Thunder crap" and "Fresno no-no," Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.
Related:
Fallen eagle, Easy policework, Hands of stone, More 
- Fallen eagle
BC isn’t traditionally a high-arrest environment, though it has had its share of head cases, with former star running back William Green perhaps its most noteworthy.
- Easy policework
I’ve always wondered exactly how these gigantic defensive linemen think they’re going to beat the whole “physical description” aspect of post-felony police work.
- Hands of stone
Graham and Sauerbrun join a surprisingly long list of former Patriots who have been arrested in recent times.
- Skell of the year
Much less funny than usual, was 2007.
- Not-so-instant karma
No matter what happens over their next two games, the Patriots will not have gone undefeated in 2007.
- Do mess with Texas
The Houston Texans are like the soy cheese of the sporting world.
- Playing with your food
In 1977, two food-loving childhood friends named Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield signed up for a $5 Penn State correspondence course in ice-cream making, just for the hell of it.
- Off the field
The New England Patriots may be the most tight-lipped organization in all of sports.
- Pats' parity
And, just like that, it’s fall. The days shorten. Crockpots come out of retirement. And the Patriots play the Jets on Sunday.
- Squish the fish
Hey New England, can I get a “Sucks to be you, you got a DWI, you LOSER!”
- Groundhog Day
It’s actually getting boring.
- Less
Topics:
Sports
, Sports, Major League Baseball, Ashlie Billingslea, More
, Sports, Major League Baseball, Ashlie Billingslea, Bill Parcells, Brandan Wright, Brandon Pettigrew, Britton Colquitt, Carl Eller, Channing Crowder, Chris Henry (Running Back), Less
