The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
Adult  |  Moonsigns  |  Band Guide  |  Blogs  |  In Pictures
 
Puzzles  |  Sports  |  Television  |  Videogames

Hello, Larry

By MATT TAIBBI  |  October 16, 2008

The really weird thing about Phillips is that he seemed to know that he was a knucklehead. Some guys — take Pacman Jones, for instance (see next item) — try hard to say the right thing, but you can tell they really think that they’ve got it figured out. You never got that sense with Phillips. He knew he was a screw-up. But he lived in a series of foster homes growing up and just never learned to control his temper. Coaches tried the indulgence method (Nebraska’s Tom Osborne should have, but didn’t, cut him after he — you guessed it — dragged a girl down a flight of stairs, bashing her head into a mailbox), and failed. The story just basically sucks all around. Now Phillips sits atop our list, beating our fellow former Cornhusker Thunder Collins.

Meanwhile, in Dallas
There’s a new tale involving the next generation’s Lawrence Phillips, Adam “Pacman” Jones of the Cowboys. Jones, who was suspended all of this past season after getting arrested nineteen hundred billion times as a Tennessee Titan, was allowed back in the league this year only after Cowboys owner Jerry Jones convinced commissioner Roger Goodell to put his balls in a storage closet prior to a summer disciplinary hearing. We were told after the reinstatement that Pacman would be bounced straight to Siberia if he so much as sneezed on a parking meter in 2008.

Well, police were called this past week after Pacman was involved in a hotel altercation with Tommy Jones (another Jones!), a security guy essentially hired by the team to babysit the cornerback. Jerry Jones has already blamed the matter on the babysitter (whom he himself hired!), but the league doesn’t seem to be buying it — Pacman was suspended indefinitely n Tuesday for violation of the NFL’s personal-conduct policy. Don’t be surprised to see him meth-skating with Todd Marinovich in the Valley real soon.

When he’s not googling “breaking the Lawrence” and “Cowboys and idiots,”Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.

< prev  1  |  2  |  3  |   next >
Related: Recession busters, Blount's blunts, He choked big time, More more >
  Topics: Sports , Sports, Criminal Sentencing and Punishment, Brandan Wright,  More more >
  • Share:
  • Share this entry with Facebook
  • Share this entry with Digg
  • Share this entry with Delicious
  • RSS feed
  • Email this article to a friend
  • Print this article
Comments

Today's Event Picks
ARTICLES BY MATT TAIBBI
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   LIGHTS OUT  |  November 25, 2009
    Not sure this has a whole lot to do with sports crime, but . . . it does involve Tila Tequila naked, so that's a start for an interesting exploration of something .
  •   CAMERA SHY  |  November 18, 2009
    Haven't we heard this story before?
  •   GOLDEN GOOFBALLS  |  November 11, 2009
    Yet another major-program football player walked the Taser plank this past week, though this one was called back from the edge just in time.
  •   JASON RETURNS  |  November 04, 2009
    As next week will feature a Friday the 13th, it’s time to check in on the NBA’s very own Jason, Tim Donaghy.
  •   PUNCH DRUNK  |  October 28, 2009
    Charges have finally come in on Aqib Talib, the frequently high (if you believe his pre-draft drug tests) and drafted-up-high (20th overall in 2008) Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback who reportedly decked a cabbie because . . . well, it’s still not exactly clear why.

 See all articles by: MATT TAIBBI

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed 



  |  Sign In  |  Register
 
thePhoenix.com:
Phoenix Media/Communications Group:
TODAY'S FEATURED ADVERTISERS
Copyright © 2009 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group