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Sports blotter: Walker wiggle

By MATT TAIBBI  |  January 14, 2009

Last year we had an absolute blizzard of arrests involving college athletes who boosted credit cards and then immediately rushed either online or to some nearby department store to buy stuff. It appears athletes are not aware that there is a Big Magic Computer out there that tells police where and when a stolen credit card is being used.

In this case, Stallworth walked into a Wal-Mart (it’s almost always a Wal-Mart) in Morehead, Kentucky, and bought lots of stuff. The card’s owner noticed the activity and notified the cops, who examined the security footage, saw that the suspect was a prominent, very tall local athlete, and arrested the poor dope. Stallworth was hit with charges of fraudulent use of credit cards over $100, and released on a $500 bond. Then he was almost immediately suspended from the team. I’m reducing the point hit for these crimes because they’re so dumb — give him 10 and let’s move on. Nothing to see here.

Bolt dolt
Vincent Jackson of the San Diego Chargers also got busted for a DUI this past week. While we all hate the Chargers around here, we hate the Colts even more, and therefore will leave this incident alone, given that the Bolts just knocked off the Colts. V-Jax was busted for a DUI in 2006, and was still on probation, so this could be trouble. Until we know more, give him the usual 25 points.

When he’s not googling “Antoine’s walking” and “Maze is dazed,” Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.

2009 LEADER BOARD
NICK HOWARD AND ANDREL JOHNSON (UAM)
| nasty home-invasion case | 65
VINCENT JACKSON (CHARGERS) | drank and drove, torched Patriots for 134 yards and a TD | 25
ANTOINE WALKER (EX-CELTICS) | drank and drove, bad shot selection | 25
ANDRE “BAD MOON” RISON (EX-CHIEFS, FALCONS, PACKERS, ETC.) | public drunkenness | 20
CHARLES BARKLEY (EX-SUNS, SIXERS) | running stop sign in quest of blowjob | 15
MAZE STALLWORTH (MOREHEAD STATE) | another sap caught using stolen credit cards | 10

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Related: You could look it up, Game on, Fallen eagle, More more >
  Topics: Sports , Sports, New Orleans, Crime,  More more >
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ARTICLES BY MATT TAIBBI
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   RUBE AWAKENING  |  December 02, 2009
    It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Couldn’t you feel that void, that emptiness resulting from the failure of former LA Clipper and Portland Trail Blazer Ruben Patterson to get arrested for anything at all recently?
  •   LIGHTS OUT  |  November 25, 2009
    Not sure this has a whole lot to do with sports crime, but . . . it does involve Tila Tequila naked, so that's a start for an interesting exploration of something .
  •   CAMERA SHY  |  November 18, 2009
    Haven't we heard this story before?
  •   GOLDEN GOOFBALLS  |  November 11, 2009
    Yet another major-program football player walked the Taser plank this past week, though this one was called back from the edge just in time.
  •   JASON RETURNS  |  November 04, 2009
    As next week will feature a Friday the 13th, it’s time to check in on the NBA’s very own Jason, Tim Donaghy.

 See all articles by: MATT TAIBBI

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