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FallGuide2009

matt taibbi

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Lightning dolt

Did Shawne Merriman take his shot at love?
Outstanding story out of San Diego last week, where terrifyingly stone-headed Chargers linebacker Shawne "Lights Out" Merriman was detained by police after similarly dumb-as-crap semi-famous bisexual reality-show skank Tila Tequila accused him of choking and restraining her in his apartment after an argument.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 16, 2009
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America's scam

Eugene Lockhart funds his own buyout. Plus, why do pro athletes hate cabbies?
What a year for former New England Patriots and the criminal-justice system!
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 09, 2009
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Fall guys

As summer winds down, sports crime picks back up
No shortage of sports-crime activity this week — in fact, it's been an extremely busy time, so much so that it's worth a bullet-point to get to some of the developments in brief.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  September 02, 2009
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Smear tactics

Accused athletes unleash their attorneys
In the world of sports crime, there are two kinds of arrests. In the first, an athlete causes a public scene in some way, the police come, and the athlete is eventually squeezed into the back of a cruiser and taken away. The other kind of crime happens outside of public view.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 26, 2009
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Magic man

A former NBA scrub gets caught speeding. Plus, Patrick Kane is sent to the penalty box.
Magic mushrooms may make for amusing Eminem lyrics, but are not and never have been a strong theme in the ongoing sports-crime story.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 19, 2009
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Going streaking

Snapping out of the annual NFL training-camp lull. Plus, Plaxico Burress gets his.
It has been an unusually quiet week or so in sports crime, which is perhaps not unexpected, since this is the one time of year when the most arrest-prone class of athletes in America — NFL players — are sequestered in training camps and usually too dog-tired from two-a-days and running suicides to bother to punch out bar skanks or kick in police cruiser windows.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 12, 2009
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Stopping Traffic

The Fighting Sioux clean out the garage. Plus, quincy carter continues his slide.
North Dakota might not be the first place you think of when it comes to sports crime, but if the players up there maintain their recent pace, we might soon be listing the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux alongside such infamous programs as the University of Miami Hurricanes and the Florida State University Seminoles.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  August 05, 2009
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Felonious dunk

Antoine Walker throws up a brick. Plus, breaking and entering, Arkansas-style.
The Antoine Walker Era was one of the most depressing in the history of Boston sports — having to root for that guy was like having to be a groomsman at your sister's jailhouse wedding to a shoplifter with a club foot.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 22, 2009
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Blue Hawaiian

Timmy Chang gets flagged for intentional grounding. Plus, a stabbing story and Bruce Smith's bad knees.
Remember Timmy Chang? You do if you're a college-football junkie — he was the quarterback for June Jones's University of Hawaii team, and ended his career as the NCAA's all-time leading passer.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 15, 2009
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Hit streak

Jim Leyritz does it again. Plus, double-barreled stick-ups in Texas.
Another day, another Yankee-dynasty hero hits the sports-crime blotter.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 08, 2009
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The Iquitarod

Sarah says 'no mas.' Plus, the United States of Goldman Sachs.
Phillipe and Jorge wish they could claim to have coined that headline about professional loony Sarah Palin's resignation as governor of Alaska prior to her first term being completed, but full points go to Geoffrey Dunn of The Huffington Post .
By PHILLIPE & JORGE  |  July 08, 2009
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Getting the boot

The Seminoles do it again. Plus, will the real Vontae Davis please stand up?
Last month, we announced the triumphant return of the Florida State football program to the summit of the sports-crime world.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 01, 2009
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Blowin' in the wind

Ryan Leaf returns from exile. Plus, Missy Giove goes downhill fast, and Donte Stallworth gets sentenced.
There's going to be a lot of snickering and chortling this week after former-top-NFL-prospect-turned-galactic-draft-bust Ryan Leaf got arrested on drug and burglary charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 24, 2009
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Scammer solstice

Football meets fraud in Georgia. Plus, Wazzu wackiness, and Tim Donaghy gets busted up.
It's summertime, and the scammin' is easy. What else can explain the recent appearance of a former NFL player in court to face 22 counts of . . . wait for it . . . mortgage fraud!
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 17, 2009
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Taser bait

A Florida Gator gets chomped. Plus, Memphis, the NCAA, and hypocrisy.
The clock keeps ticking down toward the inevitable first Tasered-athlete fatality. The fact that it hasn't happened yet is just a statistical anomaly, because two things continue to occur with regularity: major-college and pro jocks keep getting Tasered in late-night incidents, while an unluckier group of ordinary non-jocks keep dying from police Taserings.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 10, 2009
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Return of the Criminoles

Florida State's wide-receiving corps goes deep. Plus, a Miami big man and his even bigger truck.
Nothing warms the heart like the return of the Florida State football team to national criminal prominence.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 03, 2009
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Patriots daze

The ugly legacy of the late-'80s Pats gets even uglier
Ever heard of Eric Naposki? Probably not. He played linebacker for the Patriots in the late 1980s.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 27, 2009
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Love hurts

Tough times for Dirk Nowitzki. Plus, a Pitt Panther gets caught shooting blanks.
There've been some bizarre stories over the years involving gullible jocks and their inappropriate, multiple-alias-bearing girlfriends/wives.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 20, 2009
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Whiz kids

Two Saints get caught sinning. Plus, swirling down the post-NFL drug-addiction drain.
The Sports Genius of the Week Award is actually going to be shared by a pair of now-former New Orleans Saints fringe-roster players, wide receiver Biren Ealy and tight end Kolomona Kapanui.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 13, 2009
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Deal or no deal?

Will the Globe 's biggest union balk at the Times Co.'s offer? Plus, the Christian Science Monitor 's quietly successful re-launch, and sportswriter Bill Simmons's GM jones
When the Boston Newspaper Guild, the Boston Globe 's largest union, decided to take the New York Times Company's latest contract offer to its members last week, ratification seemed like a done deal.
By ADAM REILLY  |  May 15, 2009
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The dirty south

Florida footballers called for very personal fouls
Normally, this is the time of year when a lot of pro football players get arrested — the weeks after the draft and before training camp, when new rookies get their first checks and end up blowing them at fancy nightclubs on eight-balls and escorts before driving home with bellies full of Courvoisier.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 06, 2009
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Cocaine blues

Jags great Jimmy Smith done in by illegal tint and an imaginary friend. Plus, the Nevada Wolf Pack goes down shooting.
Wow. That's all I can say after seeing the mug shot of former Jacksonville Jaguars star wide receiver Jimmy Smith, busted last week on pot and crack charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 29, 2009
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Shuffling off to infamy

Buffalo doesn't have a counterfeiting problem — but it does need to curb its bad Bills
Tasering Donte . Sounds like a movie title, doesn't it?
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 22, 2009
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Just like old times

Two sports-crime all stars get busted again. Plus, another Bengal drops the ball.
Well, it's been a few months, so it's about time to check in on our old pal Todd Marinovich.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 15, 2009
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NFL follies

Pro football gets tossed around. Plus, Kirk Snyder goes to the dentist.
Not only was Donte Stallworth officially charged with DUI manslaughter, but another former AFC East star, former Buffalo Bill running back Travis Henry, reached a plea agreement on drug charges.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 08, 2009
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Strange tales

Deportation and baby-napping collide in Florida. Plus, a badger double DUI shakes up the Justin Miller Award standings.
Freaky. That's really the only word to describe the story of Amalia Tabata Pereira — the wife of top Pittsburgh Pirates prospect (and former Yankee farmhand) Jose Tabata.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 01, 2009
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Sports blotter: Donte's inferno

Ex-Patriot Stallworth makes the mistake of his life. Plus, if the judge won't do it, Roger Goodell will.
Let's just say this right at the outset: Donte Stallworth always seemed like a good dude.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 25, 2009
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Looking for Mr. Dunbar

The Justin Miller award race heats up. Plus, tough times in Fayetteville.
Will Dunbar split town without saying goodbye, and now he's facing a pair of felonies.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 18, 2009
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Sports blotter: Steamrolled again

Brian Bosworth gets leveled by John Law, and Marshawn Lynch hops on the Chris Henry express
Brian Bosworth gets a DUI; Marshawn Lynch pleads guilty to a gun charge
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 12, 2009
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Celtic crossed

If a certifiable crazy man is signed to your position, here is what you don't do: act weirder than him
It was nice knowing ya, Gabe Pruitt.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 04, 2009

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