Is that true about the sausage cookies? They were really served at a wedding?
Yes. My sister's wedding. I must have had like 20 of them, and I threw up, and I couldn't go out to dinner with everyone else that night. You don't have to even grease the cookie sheet, though. That's the good thing.
Do you have a craft room in your apartment?
I do, I call it the baby's room. I made it when I moved here. I dressed it up like a baby's room, and then I turned it into a craft room. Right now, I'm talking to you from my baby's room. I do all of my interviews in here.
What if you ever actually had a baby? Would it have to sleep in the craft room?
That would never happen. I wouldn't keep it, I would give it up.
I want to do an experiment. I'll choose five items from your list of "craft-room necessities" and then you tell me something cool you could craft from them: pompons, gumdrops, blowtorch, styrofoam balls, googly eyes.
Okay, can I add straight pins?
Okay, I would apply all those things to the Styrofoam ball. And then I would get my blowtorch and I would set it on fire.
That one sounds sort of dangerous.
It's not. Wear goggles.
Amy Sedaris speaks at the Coolidge Corner Theatre on November 30.
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