WERE YOUR PARENTS UPSET? Um, they weren't thrilled, but it didn't rock anybody's world too hard. They were more upset with the middle name I took. Not Ian, that's my real middle name, but I took another middle name, which was Adolf. And they were just devastated. They were definitely upset about that. I was like it's just a name, you know, the fact that you're putting connotations on it, that's your beast, man.
YEAH, DEAL WITHTHAT. Yeah, man. [laughs]
SO, I READ THAT YOU GREW UP IN NEW JERSEY. YOU DON'T SEEM ALL THAT JERSEY. I'M FROM LONG ISLAND SO I KIND OF GET THE STIGMA OF GROWING UP IN THAT AREA. You do. They're sort of twins, LI and NJ, they both produce a similar kind of person. And I think we both know that kind of person of whom we're speaking. And I think the nation as a whole knows that kind of person too.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT THEY KNOW IT NOW BECAUSE OFJERSEY SHORE. Right. They do know it from the Jersey Shore, and you could just as easily do the Long Island Shore and it would be a similar thing.
DO YOU WATCHTHE JERSEY SHORE?No.
YOU'VE NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE?I've never seen it, no.
BUT YOU'RE AWARE OF IT? I can't not be aware of it, but I don't watch it.
OK, SO, IF YOU HAD TO SPEND AN ENTIRE DAY WITH ONE OF THE CASTMATES OF THE JERSEY SHORE, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? I only know two of their names, so I'm choosing between Snooki and the Situation. Spend a day with them?
YUP. ONE ENTIRE DAY. Do I get to choose the activity?
SURE. I'd Probably go go-karting with the Situation. Because I like go-karting. And you don't have to talk too much because it's loud.
WHAT IF YOU HAD TO BE IN A TANDEM GO-KART WITH HIM? Is there such a thing as a two person go kart?
FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS EXERCISE, YES. Now you're just inventing shit so that the Situation and I have to hang out and talk. I don't think there is such a thing, and you said I get to choose the activity, and I don't know what the fun would be in going tandem go-karting. Now I feel like you're changing the rules halfway through the game. I'm going to hang out and spend the day talking with the Situation, and we could even do GTL. And I'll do that. And then I'll report back to you on the outcome.
THIS IS A 24-HOUR THING, THOUGH. GO-KARTING IS NOT GOING TO TAKE UP THE ENTIRE DAY.I understand, but this could be the Le Mans of go-karting. That's a 24-hour race. Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not anxious to spend a lot of time hanging out with that guy, but for the sake of your art I would.
I APPRECIATE THAT. AND I THINK THAT WE'VE ALSO PROVEN THAT YOU KNOW A BIT MORE ABOUT JERSEY SHORE THAN YOU'D LIKE TO ADMIT. Because I said GTL?
YEAH. I do know that.
I GUESS EVERYONE DOES, IT'S SEEPING INTO OUR PSYCHES. Yeah, well I guess there is a certain amount of pop culture that seeps into the ether and you inhale it the way you inhale oxygen and carcinogenic fumes and so, I am aware of GTL.