Dance Monkey: Maria Ciampa

A local comic in the hot seat
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  September 25, 2007
Maria Ciampa

Maria Ciampa | Comedy Connection, Boston | September 18 | 617.248.9700
What’s a nice Italian girl like you doing as a stand-up comedian?
What’s a nice cracker girl like you doing asking that racist question? I love meatballs.

Who’s a better American role model: Britney Spears, Alberto Gonzales, or Leona Helmsley?
Leona, because she left all her money to her dog. And because it’s American to not pay taxes. No wait, because it’s Italian to not pay taxes. I love mortadella.

If you had the ability to make one person in the world shut the fuck up for the rest of his or her life, who would it be?
Chef Boyardee, because he’s made a mockery of Italian cuisine. I love rigatoni.

Here’s your chance to show Miss Teen South Carolina how it’s done: recent polls have revealed that one out of five Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?
Iraq is the capital of Africa-America. Education is important. I’m pretty. Jellyfish are fun! And also, some ravioli.

What do you do to shake it off after a bad show?
Usually I watch The Godfather trilogy or The Sopranos or something with, say, Sophia Loren while I drink Jack Daniel’s from a goblet, another Italian favorite. Olive oil.

Related: An Italian feast, The garden of Vittorio De Sica, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, More more >
  Topics: Comedy , Public Finance, Taxes, Leona Helmsley,  More more >
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