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Dance, Monkey: Dane Cook

A visiting comic in the hot seat

By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN AND DEANA TOLLIVER | November 13, 2007

Dance Cook

Dane Cook | TD Banknorth Garden, Boston | November 17 at 7 + 10:30 pm | 617.624.1000

You are aware that there isn’t actually only one October? I mean, it happens every year.
There is also a town in Germany called Oktober, so there are at least two. I think people are going to be really excited about my new campaign, “There’s only one January,” my homage to the saddest calendar filler of a month. Yeah, I think people will really be stoked about it, so look for it.

What’s your favorite euphemism for the vagina?
The ha-ha hut.

I keep reading that you worked at a Burger King. Are you therefore an expert in “special sauce?”
That was my first job. My brother was the manager, and I could tell that he didn’t have the most faith in me when I walked in the first day and read the schedule: everyone else’s name was in pen and mine was in pencil. My district was special sauce.

I once accidentally ran over Denis Leary with my bicycle, and he called me a stupid cunt. If I did that to you, what you call me?
I love to throw a word out at people that they don’t know. I would probably call you a drunk ignoramus, that way you would have to go home and look it up.