Dance, Monkey: Myq Kaplan

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week’s victim . . .
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  December 4, 2007

Myq Kaplan | Comedy Studio, Cambridge | December 14-15 | 617.661.6507
So far, there’s been toys, toothpaste, dog food . . . What do you predict will be the next example of shoddy Chinese manufacturing?
Babies. All the adopted Asian babies will start malfunctioning any day now.

A British teacher working in Sudan has been convicted of “inciting religious hatred” after allowing her students to name a teddy bear Muhammad. I bet you can think of at least five names that would be more offensive to Muslims. Ready? Go.
All-Muslims-Are-Terrorists-Bear. Allah-Bear. Allah-Is-Stupid-Bear. Islamorama. Hajj-Pajj. Jesus-Was-Right-Muslims-Are-Wrong-Bear.

Your jokes have revealed that you’re a vegan. Aren’t you sad that you never eat delicious, delicious meat?
Only if you’re sad that you don’t get to eat delicious Asian babies. (It’s actually fortunate that you don’t, because they would kill you. Soon.)

It’s the holiday season, which means gearing up for gigantic dinners with people who make you uncomfortable. What advice would you give to people faced with awkward holiday meals?
Imagine what it’s like in countries where they don’t have any food and just have to gather round a huge empty table with their whole family, without even eating to break up the awkwardness. Then give thanks that we live in a land of plenty. Plenty of annoying relatives, but also plenty of food to stuff in our faces so we don’t have to talk to them as much. . . . Also, be vegan.

My dog is staring at me. What do you think it wants?
To be able to read my hilarious answers to your wonderful questions?

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  Topics: Comedy , Culture and Lifestyle, Holidays, Myq Kaplan,  More more >
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