Which New Year’s resolution are you going to fuck up first?
Only dating men over 18 years old. Already changed that to over 21 years old so they can buy me a drink.
A meteor hit the earth and wiped out the entire population, except for you and the 2008 presidential hopefuls. You know what I’m going to ask. Come on. Repopulation depends on you.
Even though Hillary Clinton is more of a man than anyone else in the race, I would choose John Edwards, since he has powerful sperm and psychic abilities to cross over and talk to all the dead people.
Dick Clark: robot or alien?
Or pioneer. I believe that Dick Clark was the first ever plastic-surgery patient in the United States, back in the early 1800s.
What’s your position on positions?
Experiment, experiment, experiment, baby!
SUSAN ALEXANDER | “5 Funny Females” at the Midway Café, Jamaica Plain | January 26 at 8 pm | $15 | 617.524.9038 orwww.5funnyfemales.com
Related:
Trapped in Iraq, Going both ways, Bush the Elder reduces GOP stoicism to sob story, More 
- Trapped in Iraq
Watching the Senate Armed Services and the Foreign Relations Committees question Iraq proconsul General David Petraeus about the status of the war was a disturbing experience.
- Going both ways
Right now John McCain is doing better than he and the Republicans deserve.
- Bush the Elder reduces GOP stoicism to sob story
Hillary Clinton has to studiously avoid being seen as weak, lest she fall prey to a gender-based double standard, thereby quickly losing her shot at the White House.
- Claiming the nomination, Obama achieves the re-markable
On Tuesday, the Democratic Party’s historic embrace of a black presidential candidate seemed both unremarkable and amazing.
- Battle of losers
The Democratic US Senate primary is a struggle between two minor political-candidate types: the Left-wing Perennial, Jean Hay Bright, and the Mysterious Stranger, Eric Mehnert.
- Double Standards
In the aftermath of President Bush’s most recent State of the Union address, talk-radio pundits focused not on the deteriorating situation Iraq, the challenges facing working Americans, or any number of other important topics.
- Pride of Maine
As the people of this country sit mesmerized by the continuing slugfest between US senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, I’ve had to chuckle a bit.
- Clinton women for Palin? No way
Memo to John McCain: We may be angry, but we haven’t gone completely mad.
- Sarah, get your AK-47
Ever since John McCain selected Sarah Palin to be his running mate, she has been the focus of the campaign.
- Explosively bad
Abroad and at home, the future looks grim.
- Straight talk
It’s been a very quiet spring for John McCain.
- Less
Topics:
Comedy
, Elections and Voting, Politics, U.S. Politics, More
, Elections and Voting, Politics, U.S. Politics, U.S. Presidential Election, John Edwards (Politician), Hillary Clinton, Dick Clark, Susan Alexander, Less
