Dance, Monkey: Kathleen Madigan

We put a visiting comic on the hot seat
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  February 5, 2008
Kathleen_Madigan_inside
Kathleen Madigan

Kathleen Madigan | Comedy Connection, Boston | February 15-16 | 617.248.9700
What are your thoughts on the recent news that the US Food and Drug Administration has declared that clones are safe to eat?
I’m fine with clones. I would love to have another me. The problem is that at the end of the day, when the clone figures out they’re a clone, they get mad and kill you. That’s according to every movie I’ve seen about clones. So if the clone finds out it’s a clone, you have to eat it so it doesn’t kill you first. You know, whenever they argue about cloning people, I think, but Jesse Jackson’s already done it! He is at every racial event in the world, at the same time! He’s way ahead of y’all.

The Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has endorsed John McCain. If you were running for president, what celebrity would you hope would endorse you?
Dolly Parton. All Americans love Dolly Parton and her Dixie Stampede Theater. And she loves America!

What’s your opinion of moustaches?
My favorite moustache is the handlebar, but if you’re going to have one, you should arrive everywhere you go on one of those giant bicycles. One person can ruin a moustache forever. Like, Hitler ruined a whole cut of moustache. It’s like if Dorothy Hamill had been totally evil, the bob hairstyle would have been done forever.

How about puppets?
I am extremely frightened by puppets, and I am not entertained by them either. I don’t like ’em. I think whoever is controlling the puppet should just say what they have to say. Why do you have to say it through a doll?

How about puppets with moustaches?
Well, if it were a puppet with a Hitler moustache, then I guess I would want to hear what it had to say.
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  Topics: Comedy , Dolly Parton, Jesse Jackson, Adolf Hitler,  More more >
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