Dance, Monkey: Tom E. Morello

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week’s victim . . .
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  July 2, 2008

What event do you wish were going to be a part of the 2008 Beijing Olympics?
I’d prefer the consolidation of boring events into competitive weapon battles, like javelin versus discus or archers versus luge. Sure, the fatalities would increase, but isn’t that why the hillbillies watch NASCAR? Now if we could only get NASCAR versus air shows, that would be huckleberry heaven.

Who’s your favorite robot?
Ryan Seacrest. He’s so lifelike, and he transforms into a PT Cruiser that runs on Jean Paul Gaultier cologne.

Debit or credit?
My response to homeless folks asking for change. What’s worse is how many times I get the transaction declined.

If you could switch places with anyone for a day, who would it be, and who would you bang while you were that person?
Wow, I’ve never had anyone use the elaborate guise of journalism to let me know that I’m not welcome to bang them. Really, you could’ve just said no.

North Korea is trying to convince the world that it doesn’t sponsor terrorism. What will it take to convince you?
Debit or credit.

Tom E. Morello | Comedy Studio, Cambridge | July 12 | 617.661.6507

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