Dance, Monkey: Chrissy Kelleher

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week’s victim . . .
By MARC HIRSH  |  July 30, 2008

The police chief in Flint, Michigan, is going after people who wear saggy pants. What other clothes should be targeted, and where?
There should be a ban on very, very low-cut pants on all women over the age of 22. And that should be worldwide. Actually, universal might be better. People from all planets. No one over the age of 22 should wear butt-revealing pants.

Would we be judging that age 22 on earth years, or would we judge it on the years of the planets they’re coming from?
I don’t know. I mean, dogs obviously would only wear them for a little over three years. So I would definitely do a human-to-non-human scale.

What can be done about our nation’s critical superhero-movie shortage?
I think that people should have more titanium in their diet. I think that that would help. Or uranium. Or any of the -aniums would probably help that out. We all need someone to look up to, or over to, or under to, depending on what size your superhero is.

I saw my neighbor’s cat punch him in the face. How weird is that?
Wow. That is very weird. Is your neighbor Michael Vick or someone that he knows? That’s almost like being pussy-whipped. Ha ha! Pow!

I think I need a change. Help me out: what’s the one true religion?
When you said that you needed a change, since I am a mom of twins, I was ready to jump right in and do that. I don’t know — I don’t think that there is one true religion. Me, total Catholic, so I have to go with the home team. But for you, I’m not sure. Oh, a crazy bulldog running through my yard right now. Unfortunately, he is not punching his owner, so I have nothing to report.

CHRISSY KELLEHER | Comedy Studio, Cambridge | August 3 + 20 | 617.661.6507

On the Web
Comedy Studio:

Related: Dance, Monkey: Bethany Van Delft, Dance, Monkey: J.J. Leslie, Dance, Monkey: Steve Macone, More more >
  Topics: Comedy , Michael Vick, comedy Studio, Marc Hirsh
| More

Most Popular
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   DANCE, MONKEY: JOE ROGAN  |  September 10, 2008
    These really are the dumbest questions ever.
  •   DANCE, MONKEY: JESSIE BAADE  |  September 03, 2008
    Tree humor is not funny. And I’ve tried. God knows I’ve tried.
  •   DANCE, MONKEY: STEVE HOFSTETTER  |  August 27, 2008
    Do you think we as a nation will ever be prepared to grant Dave Coulier immunity for his involvement with Alanis?
  •   DANCE, MONKEY: COREY RODRIGUES  |  August 20, 2008
    They find out I’m lip-synching, and it’s actually Milli Vanilli that’s doing the real singing this time. They’re trying to make a comeback, so I would just be a cover for them, and if that got blown, it would suck.
  •   DANCE, MONKEY: LAMONT PRICE  |  August 12, 2008
    I don’t know where I leave my pants sometimes, and I could care less.

 See all articles by: MARC HIRSH