Dance, Monkey: Rob Cantrell

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week's victim . . .
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  December 5, 2008

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What's your favorite thing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers?
I usually like to leave them over for a couple of weeks, then get to them right before Christmas, package them up, and give them as holiday presents. "Here's a solid gravy statue that I made, with a picture of Jesus." Everything's about recycling, reusing. Wishbones. Everybody digs those; you can make a necklace out of that. Love that old-lady Jell-O that nobody eats. I like to have a big party and run the Jell-O through a projector. Everybody comes out and starts dancing around, and some old guy with a moustache and suitcase shows up. And we get down like it's the '60s.

Any tips for the GOP as to how to revive the party?
Legalize weed. That's the only political stance I have. You want health-care plans? Weed. "You blew your foot off in the war? I'm sorry, son. Here's a pound of weed and an Xbox."

Your web site mentions unicorns, and that makes me think that you and I might be soulmates. To be sure, I need to know: if we had a pet unicorn, what would its name be?
I'm sorry, I'm married, but our souls can make love, not our bodies. It's less messy. But . . . let's name it Faith Cantrell.

Wrong. Its name would be Mr. Jingles. How are you going to redeem yourself after this unicorn-naming gaffe?
Man, I was just thinking about unicorns this morning. Horses can't see in front of them, just to the side. It would be really hard to play video games or land a plane if you're a horse. Have you ever thought about a Pegasus? A horse with wings? That thing is awesome. Wouldn't it be sick to ride a Pegasus? But that's kind of redundant, I think. Why not just get a giant bird and ride that? I think God thought that too.

Rob Cantrell | Electric Study Break at T.T. the Bear's Place, Cambridge | December 10 @ 9 pm | 617.492.2327 or www.ttthebears.com

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  Topics: Comedy , U.S. Republican Party, T.T. The Bear's Place, T.T. The Bear's Place,  More more >
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