CAN T.G.I. FRIDAY'S POSSIBLY GET ANY BETTER? Can the song of the mourning dove be more doleful? The Mona Lisa's smile more enigmatic? The laughter of a child more inspiring? I don't know, but last time I went to Friday's I got the shits, so hopefully Guy Fieri is getting the cooks to wash their hands.
YOUR PREDICTION FOR FIRST NATIONWIDE SEX SCANDAL OF 2009? Beyond the fucking that Patrick is going to give state workers? I can't really say. At "Boston News Net," our specialty isn't prediction, just the relentless mocking of a disgraced individual after the fact. With pictures! I will say that I hope it involves illicit fellatio. In this economy, it's nice to know that at least somebody can get a job.
WHAT SHOULD OBAMA'S IRAQ-PULLOUT STRATEGY ENTAIL? Remember to pull out. Look what happened to Clinton.
GO ON, SAY SOMETHING THAT WILL CHEER UP THE EDITORIAL STAFF AT THEBOSTON GLOBE. The transition into unemployment might not be too bumpy. I'm told that writing a rambling, often unintelligible blog in your underwear at four o'clock in the morning is very similar to writing for the Globe. It seems to be working for Kevin Cullen.
WHO'S YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER? I laugh every time I see someone with a Tasmanian Devil tattoo.
JR STRAUSS, OF "BOSTON NEWS NET" | ImprovBoston, 40 Prospect St, Cambridge | Saturdays @ 9:30 pm | 671.576.1253 orwww.bostonnewsnet.com
, Barack Obama, Swearing and Invective, Kevin Cullen, More