KURT (to me) Wow, you hit a nerve.
JOEGimme the fuckin' keys, you cocksucker!
YOU SEEM TO BE CONQUERING THESE CITIES IN MAINE AT A RIDICULOUS RATE. WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN BY SUMMER? RUMFORDS AND ARUNDELS?
JOE I don't think we're in danger of running out of places in Maine anytime soon, but this concept translates to the whole world.
ALEX And I think when season two happens —
OH, WHEN DOES SEASON ONE END?
ALEX It's done. Fort Kent's the last one. (We're doing) a season recap thing. After that you'll see a little bit of a break and then season two after.
JOE In season two we have tentative plans to bring Nan'l (Meiklejohn) to Hallowell.
IS SEASON TWO IN THE SUMMER?
JOE No, season two starts in January.
ALEX Well, that's not true. We're gonna start shooting stuff, but you'll see it in the spring.
JOE (jeering) Oh, sorry, I don't know what I'm . . .
ALEX (jeers back) . . . but in season two I think you'll see a much more even mix of themes.
ALL I CARE ABOUT IS WHEN OLD ORCHARD BEACH IS GONNA HAPPEN.
JOE Oh, dude, fuck! Are you kidding me?
JOEL Why haven't we thought of that!
JOE This summer! The summer is OOB and the clam festival with Big J.
ALEX It'll be a goddamn shame if we go another year and not do Old Orchard Beach.
(about two minutes of unprintable discussion about OOB)
JOEL I'm gonna wear so much airbrushed bullshit.
JOE Westbrook, Unity, Mexico, Rumford.
ALEX This is where we hear of the plans, and then we have to temper him.
SO YOU'RE GONNA DO THESE VERY SMALL TOWNS . . .
JOE Just no Portland, Camden, Rockland, or Bar Harbor.
KURT (Quietly) Joe, Joe, we're gonna do what Alex says we're gonna do.
JOE How come you're yelling at me?
KURT You're the one booming over here. (Imitating him) Aaarrgh, Old Orchard Beach and fucking!
JOEL Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
DO YOU KNOW BERT AND I?
JOEL Tim Sample?
YEAH, AND MARSHALL DODGE AND ROBERT BRYAN. A LOT OF THEIR STUFF IS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE CLASSIC MAINER AND THE OUTSIDER. DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GRANTED ACCESS TO A LOT OF THESE PLACES AND PEOPLE TALK TO YOU A LITTLE MORE SERIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU'RE "ONE OF US?" A MAINER, NOT A TOURIST?
JOE No, I think I'm just as foreign. I don't really fit in anywhere.
ALEX But they give the show access.
JOEL What they're happy about is that somebody's paying attention —
ALEX. . .and it's somebody from here that's paying attention. You're not the first person who's said that. Ben Goodman, who does a show called Drive Time up in Bangor, he said that (Food Coma TV) is in the very modern tradition of Tim Sample and Bob Elliot. And I didn't realize until he said that that those are two very, very, very big influences on me. In a lot of ways we're like the punk rock, profane version of Bob Elliot.
JOEL I feel like we appeal to a very valid and large chunk of people who don't sit in the coastal "cha-ching" (regions), but we're not like backwoods either.
ALEX And the majority of us have worked in fucking restaurants forever.
