O is for oppressive weather
NEWBURY STREET The schmanciest street in the city, with all the precious shoe stores and high-end salons in which people pay $500 to get their hair cut. Unfortunately, no one has figured out how to pass a law yet that makes the 20-year-old panhandlers at one end and essentially all of your moms hanging out on the other end invisible. NEWBURY COMICS is here. It's a store that used to be a record shop, which is a thing that used to exist. Now it sells youth-culture-related kitsch.
NATIVE AMERICANS Just kidding, we've got no Native Americans — they were all killed a long time ago. But in exchange, they got some streets named after them.
NORTH END More cute little cafes and tiny, candle-lit Italian restaurants than you, or anyone else, will ever need. A new one just opened up as you were reading that sentence.
OPPRESSIVE WEATHER We've got two seasons here in Massachusetts. It's either gonna be humid and 90 or snowing up to your balls. You'll want to stock up on both snow boots and swim trunks when you move in, although there's really nowhere non-syphilisy to swim. Barring that, size-XXXL sports jerseys, cargo shorts, and flip flops seems to be the hot styles this (and every other) year, so if you want to blend in, you might have to suck it up on that one.
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