R is for Revere Beach

RACISM Back in the '70s, the courts ordered desegregation of schools and started busing kids from one neighborhood to the next, causing riots and at least one attempted impaling with an American flag. In the '80s, some dude killed his wife and blamed "a black guy," and everyone went apeshit again. And last year, police in Cambridge arrested a black faculty member at Harvard for walking into his own house, but that one's cool because then he got to have a beer with President Obama. Actually, maybe we deserve the bad rep.

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REVERE BEACH Seems like a good idea for a day trip, until you realize that Revere Beach makes the Jersey Shore look like the Jersey Shore.

RIDING A BIKE Another seemingly good idea, and some of the streets here (especially in hippie-ravaged Cambridge) are zoned for bike lanes, but there is roughly a 100-percent chance that you are going to get doored by some clueless idiot blundering out of his car, so take it slow. Also, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to fly through red lights riding with no hands and talking on your cell phone. Someone should look into that.

ROXBURY You're never going to go here, so don't worry about it. (See: "Segregation," unless the racists made us take it out.)

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