A is for Allston

AMERICA As you probably didn't learn in high school, we invented that shit here in Boston. I'm not going to get into a whole thing about it like those Tea Party jerkoffs who love freedom and believe Jesus is the president of the clouds, but if you're coming here, you're probably going to get douched in the face with this history nonsense everywhere you go. Go see the spot of the real Tea Party if you want. (You don't.) It's right in the harbor over there by all the other shit that no one who lives here has ever seen. (Like the harbor.)

See also:

AEROSMITH The geriatric soundtrack to our dads getting dry hand jobs in high school.

AFFLECK, BEN A filmmaker that we pretend still lives here.

ALLSTON A hipster enclave noted for its dive bars and sidewalk puke.

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