Today, exactly one week later, my body's still recuperating. There's the clicking in my hip to deal with, and the soreness in my arms, knees, shoulders, legs, ass, and wrists. I make no excuses for the trouncing I withstood. The Derby Dames are unquestionably athletes of the truest form, and demanding of respect and awe. They're no fucking joke, and they could totally take your momma.

Boston-bred Scott Fayner cut his teeth fighting off coked-up porn chicks in LA. He is currently recuperating in an undisclosed location and can be reached at fayneralmighty@gmail.com.

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ARTICLES BY SCOTT FAYNER
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  •   MY TRIP TO THE LAND OF WRINKLY DICKS  |  August 29, 2012
    When your job is to visit porn movie sets and report on them, you get used to seeing other guys' dicks pretty quickly.
  •   EVERYDAY SUNSHINE: THE STORY OF FISHBONE  |  November 15, 2011
    Lev Anderson and Chris Metzler's documentary details Fishbone's quarter-century journey from musically-diverse South Central middle school classmates to becoming one of the most influential Los Angeles bands of the '80s.
  •   UNDERGROUND NO MORE, KOSTAS SEREMETIS COMES HOME  |  September 21, 2011
    West Roxbury native Kostas Seremetis cut his teeth as an underground artist in Boston in the 1990s — his commissions included painting the walls of the Lansdowne Street punk club Axis, and creating movies for an unknown Boston band that went on to become the Elevator Drops.
  •   SUMMER OF THE SWEDISH NANNY  |  June 23, 2011
    It's been 15 years since the top half of Holmer's body was discovered in a Fenway dumpster. The crime fascinated Boston, paralyzed its nightlife, and spurred an investigation that sputtered along for years. But the police never caught her killer.  
  •   NINE MILES OF MUDDY HELL  |  May 26, 2011
    The parking lot is deathly silent. People with muscles and strong jaws stop in their tracks as the sound of cheers pour down from the early competitors on the mountain. Our coffee buzz long gone, the effects of the joint we puffed on the drive are creeping up and I start feeling lightheaded.

 See all articles by: SCOTT FAYNER