Once gobbled, however, our hipsters would inevitably discover that marzipan tastes like sweet, chewy toothpaste. But this could work in its favor. Even in 2011 — a year in which Rebecca Black became famous — ironic appreciation hasn't quite gone out of fashion.

Even hipsters crave luxury. Rotondi says that our marzipan needs a special ingredient to distinguish it from inferior varieties cluttering the marketplace. Sugar is sugar, but almonds are something to work with. Last year, Ari Weinzweig wrote a blog post for the Atlantic extolling the virtues of Pizzuta almonds. These only grow in the sunnier parts of Sicily and thus have the smallest yield in the world. These will be the almonds to deliver the marzipunk promise.

Tom Fauls suggests marzipunk should have a slogan. Pork, for years known as "the other white meat," has recently decided to distance itself from chicken and changed its slogan to "be inspired." While a multi-billion-dollar meat industry can afford to be vague, not so for an obscure candy. Still, "Marzipunk: Sugar and almonds ground together and painted to look like things" doesn't have a great ring to it. "Marzipunk: There's a party in our marzipants, and everyone's invited," is much better.

Slogan and identity in hand, marzipunk is poised to go viral. "These days, it's all about content creation," Fauls says. He suggests creating a marzipan Facebook page, a Twitter feed, a YouTube channel, and a free, addictive marzi-app. Fresh content is key. Ideally, the responsibility for it can be passed on to the consumers — the marzifans — themselves.

"You'd need to create a plan that would be so entertaining that people would flock to it in a viral way," Fauls says, suggesting a contest with glorious prizes. Imagine a marzipan-making contest, where marzifans could form the paste into unforgettable designs: surgically altered celebrities, Santiago Calatrava bridges, extinct mammals. Next, Fauls says, "Hire some good twitterns to do really cool, interesting tweets that point to the cool content that you made that you put up on YouTube."

Then it's time to leave the dessert vanguard behind and aim for the legitimate media. "The power of three is enough to make a story trend-worthy," says food publicist Nicole Kanner, who represents Island Creek Oysters and helped their razor clams make the pages of the New York Times. If chefs don't bite, there's always the slush-pile route. Don't forget: Kate and Laura Mulleavy were just some creeps living with their parents in SoCal when they sent lushly packaged samples of their collection to Vogue editor Anna Wintour and she declared them geniuses; five years later, they're selling Rodarte at Target. From there, it's smooth sailing to television. A marzipan in the shape of Sandra "Kwanzaa Cake" Lee's face could work wonders.

Once marzipunk is firmly cemented in the cultural consciousness, marzipan-centered bakeries will open from coast to coast. An intrepid chef will deep fry it at the Texas State Fair. US Weekly will run pictures of celebrities stuffing tiny top hats in their mouths. Jay Leno will joke about it. And, in a few years — Rotondi guesses two — people will get sick of it, the bakeries will shutter, and the next dessert wave will come crashing in.

Our prediction: fondant.

Eugenia Williamson can be reached at ewilliamson@phx.com.

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