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VOWS

For all the unconventionality of the hipster wedding, certain aspects are as regimented as a military drill. It goes without saying that religious officials should not perform hipster wedding services. Justices of the Peace, Unitarians, friends ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster — these are acceptable officiates, ones that will not raise an eyebrow at your farm-stand turnip cake, or the sign hanging over it reading "farm-stand turnip cake," or maybe your rainbow cake — you know, for marriage equality!

Hipsters are similarly required to write their own vows. Some write from the heart. Some incorporate poetry from the New York school. Others appropriate lyrics from '70s arena-rock bands for whose songs they have an ironic appreciation. One Connecticut couple, married by a friend dressed as an eight-foot-tall Japanese toy in an inflatable polyurethane suit, addressed each other in rhyming couplets as the children in attendance wept in fear.

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