Looking for a love

An imagined guide to hookups and taped-together missed conversations  
By JESSICA GROSE  |  August 30, 2006

Your eyes met across the (bar/theater/bath house). (He/She/Zhe) was wearing a fetching (white hat/short skirt/ironic T-shirt). You sauntered over, making sure your (bangs/Mohawk/mutton chops) were in place. After making small talk for a few minutes about (bands/sports/politics), you were smitten.

But alas! Your possible soul mate disappeared into the tepid Providence night, forever scattered to the far corners of Rhode Island. Until now: The Phoenix’s Missed Connections team has collected letters from around town to reunite the lost souls, the ones who for a fleeting, beautiful moment drunkenly groped each other in a bar bathroom on a Saturday, or pogo-ed around to ’80s songs on a Friday, or learned how to pole dance together on a Sunday.

Hearing of their various exploits, perhaps you’ll be inspired to hit the following nightspots and activities so you can find your own deep connection.

Tattooed Cutie at the Red Fez — M4W, 32
Red Fez | 49 Peck Street, Providence | 401.272.1212
We were sitting at one of the tables upstairs, directly under a moose head. You had one sleeve of calla lily tattoos and were drinking a Narragansett. You had a cute short haircut and were arguing with me about the latest Almodovar movie. I was wearing the striped T-shirt — you said I looked like Dennis the Menace. Being the wimpster that I am, I left without asking for your number. If you want to continue the discussion, please write back. I promise to be more aggressive this time around.

Voluptuous Femme at Miko Exotic Wear — W4W, 23
Miko Exotic Wear | 653 North Main Street, Providence | 401.421.9787 | www.mikoexoticwear.com
You were standing next to me at the Erotic Pole Dancing class. I thought we locked eyes while trying that complicated spin move. You wore those stripper shoes with a certain je nais se quoi. I wish you would come over, wearing one of those outfits Miko has for sale in the store, so we could continue dancing — but this time we’d make up our own moves.

Hot Lacrosse Player at Spats Last Night — W4M, 21
Spats | 182 Angell Street, Providence | 401.437.8300

We were talking for a while, um, I think about the Red Sox? I don’t really remember. It was after those Jäger shots we did with the rest of the Brown LAXers. You said I have a “great rack.” Then we made out in front of the OMAC. You asked me for my number, but I just moved into a new dorm and I couldn’t remember it. I think we have a lot in common. My name is Alyssa. Look for me on the main green!

Black lipstick, Black Ballet Skirt, Black Heart at the Living Room — M4W, 18
The Living Room | 23 Rathbone Street, Providence | 401.521.5200

Janey, I thought you were my fucking girlfriend. But then we were watching Bi Anal Ham Sandwich at the Living Room and I saw you making out with the FUCKING ROADIE. I remember the day after high school graduation when we watched the Tiny Hawks and you told me you’d be mine forever. I guess by forever you meant until you decided to be a whore. I’m deleting you from my MySpace friends’ list. Dudes, stay away from this black widow!

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