Flushed away

Could be Verse: Poetry ripped straight from the headlines

By JAMES PARKER | June 20, 2007

VIDEO: James Parker reads "Flushed Away"

Lines Upon Hearing of the Systematic Theft by Persons Unknown of Certain Toilet Parts From Fast-Food Restaurants in the Town of Methuen

Flushometer, brains of the bathroom, flow-controlling flushometer,
The burglars are coming to carry you off like Perseus carried Andromeda.
Their secret design is to stack and combine you: a toilet a mile high!
They know what they’re doing, out in Methuen, and the day of cleansing is nigh.

Topics: Lifestyle Features , Culture and Lifestyle, Food and Cooking, Foods, More

| More

Most Popular

The Current Issue

Table of Contents

Cover Archive

Masthead | Authors | Contact us

Blogs

Where To Follow Me
Talking Politics | March 24, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Mo Takes His Turn
March 21, 2013 at 12:59 PM

[Q&A] KMFDM's Sascha Konietzko on art, Columbine and having balls
On The Download | March 18, 2013 at 3:22 PM

See this film series: The Belmont World Film Series @ Studio Cinema in Belmont
Outside The Frame | March 18, 2013 at 11:00 AM

See this film: This is Spinal Tap [with post-film talk by expert from Acoustical Society of America] @ the Coolidge
March 17, 2013 at 12:00 PM

ARTICLES BY JAMES PARKER

BIPOLAR BABIES: LEONARD COHEN AND ROD STEWART IN MISERY AND DELIGHT | December 05, 2012
"Every night and every morn," wrote William Blake one afternoon in 1803, "some to misery are born."

FINDING OUT WHAT MAKES THE MEAT PUPPETS TICK WITH A NEW ORAL HISTORY | May 30, 2012
As half-assed a form as it can be, the rock-band oral history is a folk form nonetheless, with a great claim to authenticity.

THEY AIN'T HEAVY, THEY'RE THE KIRKWOOD BROTHERS | May 31, 2012
Finding out what makes the Meat Puppets tick with a new oral history

GETTING TO KNOW PHILIP LARKIN WITH A NEW EDITION OF HIS POEMS | April 26, 2012
"A smash of glass and a rumble of boots/Electric trains and a ripped-up phonebooth/Paint-spattered walls and the cry of a tomcat/Lights going out, and a kick in the balls." These lines are not by Philip Larkin, of course — they're by Paul Weller.

BLACK SABBATH ARE BACK — IN PRINT AND ON FILM | November 14, 2011
The literature on Black Sabbath — already extensive — will continue to grow, as we try, try, try again to wrap our poor noggins around the irreducibly cosmic fact of this band.