It parade

By SHARON STEEL  |  December 26, 2007

Speaking of the fashionable and fabulous, most lady media whores are, by now, chewing on the news that Jane Pratt, founding editor of recently defunct Jane magazine, has been tapped (after both second and final Jane E-I-C Brandon Holley and Atoosa Rubenstein, former Seventeen editor-cum-Alpha Kitty, said no, that is) to host a VH1 reality TV show entitled American Ugly. Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at that pitch meeting! The concept is Ugly Betty meets American Idol, with clueless women dimly attempting to win the chance to run a magazine. Finally, in terms of non-reality/game-show/shit-show programming, we’ve got our eye on quarterlife, created by the dynamic duo behind My So-Called Life. What started as an Internet-only program is now being picked up for mid-season 2008 by NBC. Bitsie Tulloch (lonelygirl15) is the lead. Keep that idiot box warm and glowy.

The new ‘It’ music
Comebacks and reunions are going full throttle in 2008. Blur are returning for the first time since 2003’s Think Tank; there’s talk of a Led Zeppelin European tour; My Bloody Valentine are preparing to strap on their shoes and stare at them once again; and, as usual, Guns N’ Roses are continuing the Chinese Democracy water torture. Oh, and was that Pavement rumor just a rumor? The biggest projected musical comeback of 2008, however, is likely to be focused on five grown women with snappy accents who go by the pseudonyms Posh, Scary, Baby, Sporty, and Ginger. If the Spice Girls, draped in ostentatious Roberto Cavalli threads and singing their hearts out about lovers, can’t win over an audience of nostalgia freaks, we don’t know who can! Of course, should all else fail, the girls could easily arrange a USO tour in Iraq and, through the magic of costume changes, bum pinches, and nonsensical lyrics, bring an end to the war. Zig-a-zig-ah, indeed.

The new ‘It’ subcultures
Gawker has dubbed it “femiladyism.” We call it a renaissance of all things handmade — with a punk twist. Recent examples of hipster-adopted crafting include everything from crocheting skulls-and-crossbones out of pink yarn to fashioning duct-tape corsets. If you think you saw it all at an urban craft-market such as Boston’s own Bazaar Bizarre, then you clearly haven’t wasted days on end in an online treasure hunt through various shops. This is crafting for an audience that is still decades from the nursing home.

Designing dresses out of tampons isn’t your idea of a leisure pursuit? Perhaps learning how to kick the shit out of really strong people is. Mixed martial arts have been on the rise for the past few years, but 2008 could be the year the gore fest launches itself from cable-television fetishism to pop-collective consciousness. The brass behind the Ultimate Fighting Championship are in talks with CBS, and Boston has become something of a mini publicity hub for the fringe sport. Current UFC president Dana White, a former UMass Boston student, has been diligently working to spin this “recreational activity” into a mainstream pastime. Keep your guard up.

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