“Tequila” — the Champs (1958). If you can hear this without doing the Pee Wee Herman dance, you’re a better man than I. (Or woman, as the case may be.) Recorded in five minutes; a classic forever. Eat the worm.

“Wanna Drink” — Teengenerate (1996). Blindingly fast punk for the blind drunk. Can you not understand anything he’s saying because he’s shithoused or because he’s Japanese? Does it matter?

“Streams of Whiskey” — the Pogues (1984). In theory, of course, pretty much any song in the Pogues catalog could have made this list. This one has it all: drunken abandon, rousing sing-along chorus, a Behan shout-out. Have you no Shane?

“One for My Baby (and One More for the Road)” — Frank Sinatra (1943). Make it a stiff one. But remember: drinking and driving is wrong. Frank can only get away with it because he’s already dead.
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