If high-heel action seems too risqué, then perhaps begin at CCAE with "Intro to Belly Dancing" ($37). It's not pole dancing, but "every part of your body will participate, from your toes to your fingertips, your head to your heart." As for guys, don't feel bad since you can't join most exotic and burlesque classes. With some "Beginning Breakdance" ($114) at BACE and "African-American Step: Stomp 'n Shout" ($75) in March at BCAE, hotties will be stripping for you at the club.
Get smithy with it
Once you go blacksmithing, you never go back. After "A Taste of Blacksmithing" ($60), a three-hour February course at BCAE annex Prospect Hill Forge, you'll start inserting rudimentary iron treasures into your home oven to transform them into shanks and spears. For fire prevention purposes, though, it might help to take the April follow-up, "A Taste of Blacksmithing: Twisted Hooks" ($60).
If you can stand the heat, skip the kitchen and check the BCAE "Glassblowing Sampler" ($75) at Diablo Glass and Metal. "No experience is required, as "this sampler is designed as a first step for students interested in learning more about glass art in the hot shop." Translation: it might take more than one visit to finish that six-foot triple-chamber Pyrex bong you've been fantasizing about.
Get busy with it
There's no point in knowing how to dance, fight, and blacksmith if you can't use those skills to get laid. Jean-Claude Van Damme didn't just become the king of the MTV beach house because of his pectoral rocks and fear-inducing roundhouse kicks; homeboy is smoother than co-ed crotch around the ladies. That said, as an intro to sexual bloodsport, you might want to enlist in "Living Fearlessly" ($43; $37) at BCAE.
Once you've copped your metaphorical No Fear gear, the next logical stop is "Flirting: The Psychology of Instant Sexual Attraction" ($51; $43) at BCAE in February. There are no guaranteed fringe benefits, but studying "the difference between flirting and seduction" can only elevate a player's game. Should things go extremely well, we recommend "Documentary Video Boot Camp" at Mass Art. Just make sure your partners sign a waver.
Get jiggy with it
If politicians want to bring casinos to the Bay State, then gambling must be awesome. High rolling is especially fun when you win; and while that rarely happens, you only up your odds with "Take a Chance at the Table: Introduction to Craps" ($54; $45; $5) at BCAE in February. "This is a very hands-on course, so get ready to start tossing the old square pair." And when you're done with that, get ready to be a motherfucking millionaire.
If wagering doesn't quench your thirst for thrill, renowned paranormal scientist Michael Baker can likely get you off in April with "Ghost Hunting: Tales from the Living" ($25) at BCAE. It's a small price to pay for a tour through the creepy missions that Baker has embarked on, and for a glance at "some of the scientific theories and principals involved with paranormal investigation." Night light not included.
Get piggy with it
There's an almost infinite number of culinary courses you can catch around Greater Boston. At quick glance, "Italian Sauces" ($222) at CCAE and "I Love Sushi" ($85; $70; $20) at BCAE look especially tasty. But only one food class promises to "combine music, fun, and creative cooking . . . for old time Oi Boys and brand new Punk Rockers." That section would be "Punk Rock Cooking" ($49; $42; $18) at BCAE in February.