Ever wonder what the world would be like if growing facial hair were a professional sport? Yeah, me neither. But someone in Somerville
did at one point in time and got really excited about it, and Saturday's masculinity-wagging "Get Your Beard On" contest was born.
The boisterous afternoon competition filled the back room of Union Square's Precinct Bar with an endless and startlingly diverse horde of beard fanatics. A handful of Somerville's bearded Sikh community competed for the "Best Natural Full Beard" crown and post-pubescent men of all shapes and sizes brandished their manicured mugs to see who sported the best "Free-Style Full Beard" and "Free-Style Mustache." Cue stream of jokes about "hairline fractures" and "how-long-you-been-growing-that-thing-and-do-you-use-wax" commentary from emcee Jimmy DelPonte, amid envious spectators' coos of "That's SO long for only two months."