It's no great surprise that Christina Aguilera can sing. But I'm sorry to report that her breakout movie is similarly revelation free. At one point, a disgruntled diva whose star is dimming (played by an underused Kristen Bell) screeches, "I will not be upstaged by some slut with mutant lungs!" Cher must have felt the same way — the aging star does her best to breathe life and wit into a film that's been done before. Many times. Take one part Showgirls and two parts Coyote Ugly and you've got this hackneyed tale of the small-town girl whose big dreams in the big city (LA) run into the expected obstacles — a jealous rival, a smarmy industry pro, the complicated love interest. Predictable, and poorly written (by director Steve Antin), Burlesque had me wishing ill of Xtina's plans. But it's not all bad. Stanley Tucci as Cher's right-hand man is bitingly on point, Cher proves she's still got it, and Alan Cumming is cheeky as ever (though even more underused than Bell). The burlesque dance scenes are better than anything those Coyote Ugly girls had going — but that's not saying much, is it?