Following the blighted example of Gulliver, Kelly Asbury's vapid adaptation takes a great classic and makes it stupid for the kids. I'm referring, of course, to Toy Story, as feuding tribes of gnomes freeze into inanimate objects whenever a human looks at them. Too bad that doesn't hold true for the humans in the audience. Gnomeo (James McAvoy) of the Blues, after losing a power-mower competition to Red gnome Tybalt (Jason Statham), bumps into Juliet (best in cast Emily Blunt) and, despite their family enmity, fall in love. What do you want to bet there's a new ending? The Elton John soundtrack and a hideous plastic flamingo (Jim Cummings as a cross between Puss in Boots and Jar Jar Binks) don't make the film easier to sit through. Along with the Bardic quotes and inevitable movie allusions - from The Graduate to Borat - Gnomeo and Juliet justifies its existence as a paycheck for every British actor not in the last Harry Potter movie.
