High-school football players trade Friday-night lights for AK-47s when North Korea invades Spokane in this remake of John Milius's 1984 hit, whose rallying cry is no longer "freedom" but "family." In Patrick Swayze's role is Chris Hemsworth, now a Marine home from Iraq, and in for Charlie Sheen is Josh Peck, who seems more stoner than captain of the football team. The Wolverines have been integrated, but the upgrade from a small town to a city of 200,000 (an undisguised Detroit) brings its own implausibility. Dan Bradley, a stunt and second-unit director making his first-unit debut, amps up the action, reprising favorite scenes with twists while eliminating rape (North Korea would rather interrogate our cheerleaders). The bland cast perks up when Jeffrey Dean Morgan punches in as a crusty retired soldier, but in trading Milius's jingoist conviction for brotherly friction the remake has little reason for being. "Dude," says Josh Hutcherson (in C. Thomas Howell's role), "we're living Call of Duty, and it sucks."