Has Al Pacino ever looked so small? Slouched and sadly more Dunkaccino than Serpico, he plays the career criminal Val in this sentimental hokum directed by Fisher Stevens. Released from prison after 28 years, he's picked up by best pal Doc (Christopher Walken, pure restraint next to Pacino's ham), and soon the bad-hair buddies stage a "comeback." Or, as Val relates to a priest in the inevitable morning-after confession: "I shot a guy in the kneecap, and another one in the arm; I stole a bunch of prescription drugs and a sweet-ass car. And I fucked a Russian hooker . . . four times." After suffering Viagra-fueled priapism, Val wonders if he's going to die. "Not tonight," says his nurse (Julianna Margulies, returning to the ER), who — wouldn't you know it! — is the daughter of old pal and getaway driver Hirsch (Alan Arkin), who'll be sprung from a nursing home soon enough. Ah, but Doc's been ordered to execute Val. Not if Pacino kills his career first.