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X-Files creator Chris Carter resurrects Special Agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), only they’re no longer special, and neither are they agents. Mulder’s on the lam, having been sentenced to death in the TV finale, but the feds haven’t been looking very hard for him, since he’s been living (and spooning!) with Scully, who’s now working as a surgeon who spends too much time treating a patient who has no connection to this film’s plot. Perhaps the feds didn’t recognize Mulder with his fake beard. In any case, when a never-before-mentioned agent is kidnapped, “all is forgiven” as the two join a pair of never-before-seen feds (Alvin “Xzibit” Joiner and Amanda Peet) and a psychic pedophile priest (Billy Connolly) in pursuit of organ-trafficking gay Russians. Stay for the final shot of a shirtless Mulder and a bikini-clad Scully waving to the audience and you’ll want to believe that this movie was never made. 100 minutes | Boston Common + Fenway + Fresh Pond + Chestnut Hill + Embassy + Suburbs
