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Review: Crank: High Voltage

A heartless thrill ride
By CHRIS WANGLER  |  April 21, 2009
0.5 0.5 Stars


VIDEO: The trailer for Crank: High Voltage

Chinese triads. Corey Haim. Porn actors on strike. REO Speedwagon. Yes, the creators of this nearly unwatchable sequel will use anything to achieve their twisted goal: to shock ADHD teenagers to such an extent that they won't fidget with texting devices during the movie. This time around, cockney hitman Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) awakens to find that his "strawberry tart" (i.e., heart) has been removed by bad-ass Asian organ harvesters.

To keep his artificial substitute pumping while tracking down the thieves, he Tasers himself, grabs a power transformer, and bangs his girlfriend (Amy Smart) in the middle of a racetrack. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the team behind the manic original, are talented only with the camera; writing and directing are afterthoughts.

They swerve away from the story at will, interrupting racist dialogue with blood, misogyny, and softcore porn. The result is comparable to the Grand Theft Auto video-game franchise, but with less plot.

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    Chinese triads. Corey Haim. Porn actors on strike. REO Speedwagon. Yes, the creators of this nearly unwatchable sequel will use anything to achieve their twisted goal: to shock ADHD teenagers.
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