That must’ve been one rockin’ party the Gods of Ancient Greece had with the hotties of America back in the early 90s, since they left behind a string of demigods with absentee-daddy issues. Poseidon (Kevin McKidd) has full command over water, but he apparently couldn’t keep his trident from getting wet when he met Sally Jackson (Catherine Keener, not my idea of a MILF, but then, I don’t wear godly beer goggles).
Together, they produce Percy Jackson (talented Logan Lerman), a 17-year-old dyslexic (why does every word look Greek to him?) who feels more at home in a swimming pool (hmm…) than in the apartment he shares with his mom and scurrilous stepdad (Joe Pantoliano). His true heritage and powers revealed, Percy joins half-goat pal Grover (Brandon T. Jackson) and Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario), Athena’s daughter, on a mildly diverting mission to Hades – the entrance of which director Chris Columbus posits in Hollywood, guaranteeing boffo Midwestern boxoffice.