The campaign also involves a partnership with Live Nation to run some kind of youth music-journalism contest that nobody under the age of 25 could possibly be paid enough money to give a shit about, but at least it lets the PR dudes go on autopilot: "The synergy of music and fashion drives the hottest trends for young shoppers, as both allow them to express their individual personalities."

I'm in the wrong game. I could be making six figures running futile teen focus groups and convincing nervous Sears execs that "whack" is a good thing.

DAVID THORPE |dthorpe@phx.com

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